So fed up with it all!

[bonnie87]

I had the exact thing as you in every aspect of it yesterday eve, I've got chest infection and after being played around by hospital a&e and out of hour GP who wrongly diagnosed "no sign of chest infection" -when, I've been struggling so damn hard to breath, coughing up awful phlegms and recent pains on my heart side- I felt helpless! For goodness sake, how on earth I convince this silly people I can't breath as I'm so highly asthmatic and have a very weak immune system and history of chest infections/phuenmen too! Lol

This was just enough for me to get those horror dark feelings of me hashing heart attack and dying to kick in! Sat in my car and left shoulder felt heavy numb and here me started crying helplessly in fear, walking around, getting in and out of the car, trying to calm myself but not knowing how!!!! And this is time again paramedic gets called in! Not sure how I drove myself home, seemed lifelong! Crying helplessly over the phone to the emergency operator and repeating I'm too scared, I feel like I'm dying , my arm, can't feel it! My heart, its aching and fast beating! My chest, is getting tighter, my breathing, oh gosh I can't breath, lump in bottom of my throat!

And here is the lovely paramedics, calmly asking questions and found normal check, plus another ECG test! And here gone nearly had an hour and am so much calmer and feeling too exhausted! Oh, the guilt, the embarrassment I have again , looking very silly , you stupid girl being paranoid again! These people ain't gonna give a s** about you very soon if you carry on with your paranoia thoughts like this!

See?! You looking stupid again and they laughing at you when they've gone out of here! !!!!!

And same thing over and over again! Up to 3 times a week, but ambulance gets called in once a month or every other two! I can't help it! I honestly helplessly feel I'm dying at that moment! I feel it so deeply! No words can utterly describe the feeling of that FEAR !!

One thing not helping this improve is that I'm aware my doctors or the whole health system isn't paying any attention to my complicated health issues, they never give me enough time to go through every thing, which could be all connected, routing from one source in my body and surly this helps them come to an appropriate decision of help:treatment too! And I get absolutely no care/sympathy from them,, lots of physical mental health issues and lots of undeclared/untreated health facts and the lies I've notice been said on my medical records! Absolute joke! I've given up on them and myself after all in a while now, can't deal with it no more and as of all those health issues, I know my anxiety and panic attack are getting worse coz my head telling me, that part of my health left neglected by them, is now ending my life!

I'm tired of this, I want it all to stop, I don't want to have those feelings and symptoms no more ! 😞😞😞😞

[thirdage]

Hi, I feel so sorry for you and know what it is like to be so readily dismissed.