Help me find me

Hi everyone

So I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder when I was about 21 years old (so 7 yrs ago now), although there are a few times in the years before that that I could probably say I was suffering with anxiety, just not to the same extreme.

I have never received counselling, but have been taking a fairly low dose of anxiety medication for that same amount of time.

The medication definitely takes the edge off of my anxiety, I would say it works a solid 80% of the time. But I do limit myself from doing anything that may trigger a panic episode so I cannot say for certain that the medication is doing good everything it needs to do.

I can probably link my initial trigger to the death of my grandfather when I was 19 yrs old, which was around the same time that I suffered a miscarriage. I can then say that the death of my father when I was 23 yrs old has probably put the cherry on top of the cake for me.

My fears and worries appear to be growing day by day, but the main ones are:

- flying and airports

- heights and also looking up at tall buildings

- small, enclosed spaces and crowded areas

- open spaces (fields, beaches, supermarkets etc)

- motorways & driving in new areas

- talking to people on the telephone

As you can imagine this limits my day to day life quite dramatically, and quite often I don't even want to leave the house.

I have attempted to refer myself for counselling but haven't been able to bring myself to have the telephone interview. Although I have now booked an appointment with my GP to see if he can refer me for online counselling as this may be more beneficial to me.

I now have a 7 month old daughter and I am so scared that I am going to limit her life, or project my fears on to her.

Further to this, my partner is beginning to become very frustrated with how limited I am in doing anything and he has said that if I don't sort myself out/get help soon, it's going to end up destroying our relationship.

I need help and I don't even really know where to start. I'm becoming so down about everything and often feel like everyone would be better off without me around because they will have more freedom to go and do things without me holding them back.

I feel like a failure.

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4 Replies

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  • Start by going to a phycologist and a psichriatrist. I know that may seem scary at first but trust me there's nothing scary about it. I never in a million years thought that I would seek the help of these professionals but I did it for my kids. Get the help. They understand.

  • Your story is very common and most people will learn to live with themselves. Lifestyle is the main factor - mindfulness, exercise, god diet, avoid rumination, socialise, keep active. Learn about the illness online - "mood Gym", make that appointment for counselling. I'm surprised you haven't already been down that line if youre taking regular medication for years.

    Good like, you can conquer this

  • Seems like you have a lot of phobias, with a general sense of worry. Phobias are of course part of anxiety, but different. I do not have any phobias except flying! I experience just a lot of worry over anything and everything, nothing too specific. Might be easier for you to get help and get back to normal quicker than someone like myself that anything and everything can be a trigger. But definitely look into counseling/therapy. Whether that be with a psychologist, psychiatrist with medicine, or both. Wish the best of luck to you!

  • Thanks everyone. I've woken up today with some purpose and I've made an appointment with my GP to see if I can get a referral for online CBT and I have contacted a local grief counselling service in my area to see if I can get some help through them.

    Hoping to get this sorted out, even if it's to just start resolving some of my issues one by one.

    It's so hard to live a normal life when everything is a constant worry. I don't want to be stuck indoors, I want to enjoy life and be able to take my daughter to places and show her things that I experienced as a child.

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