new here and hoping to find friends and help!

Hi all! I'm new to this site. Feeling like I can talk better to strangers than I can to someone in person! I'm a 45 yr old woman, married 17 yrs., have two children (one boy one girl) and love animals. I've think I've been having anxiety and am trying to figure out why. My stomach seems to have butterflies in it all day long, along with aches in chest and shoulder. Don't know what to do to relieve it. Went to the doctor and seen someone else (normal dr was out of town) and she put me on citalopram HBR but I haven't taken it due to the side effects. I have taken st. johns wort before but just started them again today hoping for a little relief. Any help on dealing with this is thankful! I have thought that my boy getting his license may have started it. I did get used to that, then winter came along and it seems to made it worse, as I am a very protective mom. Then both trying out for the school basketball team (both made it with no worries, but I don't count my eggs before they hatch!) may have had something to do with it, beings it seems like it started around there. Then I got sick with a really bad cold and it just seems like it got worse from there. I originally thought I was going to have a heart attack and the dr told me I was fine. I guess I have tried to find a way to know the signs of anxiety and scared myself with the heart stuff since they are so similar. I know I am just rambling on, so please if you have any questions or any advise please let me know!! Thanks in advance!!

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8 Replies

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  • hi there, sorry to see your feeling this way

    have you tried getting a blood test and checking your thyroid levels?

  • I go to the doctor on Monday. He will order them then I'm hoping.

  • Hi Farmprincess, Welcome to the Anxiety Forum...You will find both friends and help for your anxiety from a great group of people. We all have some form of anxiety issues or depression and so all our responses are from our own experiences. It really helps in not feeling so alone with this disorder. I'm glad you did see your doctor, now you just have to believe him that your heart is fine. Anxiety tends to make us think irrational when any symptoms arise. What you will learn on the forum is how to turn the negative around and to accept this is anxiety playing it's cruel game on your mind. Also you will learn how to lower your stress levels which will help calm both the mind and body. You have certainly come to the right place. I hope you come back and start interacting with all of us. You will be amazed at how helpful this site can be. My best, Agora1

  • I'm glad this site exist. It has been very informative for me and is helping me see I'm not alone. Thank you again!

  • Farmprincess, it doesn't matter what started your mild anxiety disorder, for that is certainly what it is in my view, it could be any number of small things. But it has resulted in your nervous system becoming over sensitive and some of the most common symptoms of this are the stomach problems and pains in your chest and shoulder which you immediately fear are a heart attack coming but as your doctor has reassured you is not.

    You should constantly remind yourself that these symptoms are imposters, frauds, they are not real but they are tricksters and you don't have to put up with them for ever. So for the time being let these symptoms come and accept them as fakes that can never really hurt you and by accepting them, utterly accepting them without fear you stop the vicious circle going on in your body whereby symptoms cause fear which cause more symptoms which cause more fear and so on and so on. By temporarily accepting these meaningless blips in your wiring you stop bombarding your nervous system with more fear and eventually your nervous system returns to normal and you will be free of these worries once again. So instead of tensing up when you feel the stomach ache or chest pain next just let every muscle in your body relax, command them to relax one by one and with time and persistence the aches and pains will fade and normality will return to your mind and body and you will be able to enjoy life to the full once again.

  • Thank you for taking the time to explain this all to me. I try hard to convince myself it will pass, but sometimes it's easier said than done! I have been trying to keep myself busy so everything stays at bay, and it seems to help a lot!

  • Farmprincess, what I didn't mention is that the method I briefly explained known as Acceptance was devised 50 years ago by Dr Claire Weekes and explained in her easy to read book 'Self help with your nerves' UK version also published as 'Hope and help with your nerves' US version, both available from Amazon. Through proper explanation of nervous sensitisation and how to free yourself of it and its accompanying symptoms this simple book has freed hundreds of thousands of people from anxiety and has withstood the test of time. I first read it 40 years ago and it is the only method I know that actually works.

    Tell yourself by all means that your anxiety will pass but in my observation these symptoms do not resolve themself on their own, only when you take control and through a little reading, practice and persistance will you effect a cure by desensitising your nervous system accorcing to Claire Weekes' method. Incidentally she suffered from anxiety disorder herself as a young woman. You will soon recognise yourself and your symptoms in the pages of her book and the understanding overcomes bewilderment that we all feel when anxiety disorder strikes.

    You mention keeping yourself busy to keep everything at bay and Weekes indeed says that occupation and continuing with your daily work is important. But if this means trying to force the problem out of your mind then it is counter productive because the first step towards recovery is to Face the problem fairly and squarely and not try to bury it. Her method involves only 4 simple stages: Face, Accept, Float and Let time pass. I said simple but not neceassarily easy.

    Tranquillisers and antidepressants are helpful but they only mask and do not cure. The late Claire Weekes said that everybody can cure themselves using her method if they can summon the power to persist, no matter what the symptoms, and you are no exception.

    I wish you bon voyage on your journey towards recovery.

  • I will definitely check into that! Thank you again!

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