Social Anxiety. . .

[Needtofigureitout]

I'm 30. I've tried different things to combat my anxiety, but never a forum. I hope to gain some perspective from other peoples experiences and hopefully find a way to be able to manage it. My anxiety at times is crippling. I feel as if I'm drowning in my chest, if that makes any sense? To a point where it becomes overwhelming. I also tend to sweat in particular situations, more so when anxiety is present. I can go from dry, to a full body sweat in an instant. I end up looking like I've done the 100m dash faster than Usain Bolt. The sweating then becomes the problem and I find myself making up ludicrous reasons, as to why I am sweating in front of people. When you are trying to stay calm and go unnoticed and someone asks if your ok, or why you're sweating like that, it makes it 10 times worse. I've left social situations completely or stood outside, weather permitting, to cool down breathe and calm myself down. I'm a father, a brother, a friend, a grandson & a partner. I need to rid my mind of this hideous thing. Thanks for reading.

[Jeff1943]

Needtofigureitout, the first thing to say is that if you haven't already you should see your doctor and tell him what you've told us, just in case it's some physical illness even though it sounds unlikely.

Anxiety can come in many forms and exhibit all kinds of symptoms and what you describe here, including the sweating, are common expressions of anxiety. After a lengthy period of worry and stress the normal anxiety that everyone feels from time to time can cause our nervous system to become over sensitised and when this change occurs it can bring on a whole host of different symptoms. Small problems suddenly appear as huge obstacles, we can feel dizzy or have feelings of unreality, stomach upsets, breathlessness, I'd better not go one or you'll start imagining you have all these☺ Because when our nerves are sensitised we also become very suggestible to the idea that we have all sorts of physical illnesses.

To recover, it's important to understand how too much worry causes sensitised nerves and how they can make your life a misery. It's also important to look at what might have caused the worry that has led to anxiety disorder and eliminate it if possible. Perhaps ask the advice from some sensible person you can trust. The next thing is to adopt a recovery plan designed to desensitise your jangled nerves.

Of course you can take prescribed medications and these are useful in giving us a 'holiday' from the bad feelings if they become overwhelming. But they can't cure us in the long run which is what we want.

Where you are going wrong is in fighting the symptoms, steeling yourself against them and testing yourself constantly to see if they've gone away. Fighting the symptoms never works, it only causes more stress, tension and anxiety that adds further sensitivity to your already frazzled nerves. To recover you have to stop fighting - even though that's the opposite of our natural instinct. Instead we have to learn to accept for the time being all the bad feelings and sweating with as little fear and tension as possible. I'll say that again because it's all-important: you have to STOP FIGHTING and start ACCEPTING.

None of the symptoms and bad feelings you experience are life threatening or permanent (unlike the physical illnesses they often imitate) because they are just glitches in your nervous system. So instead of worrying and scaring yourself half to death, just accept them knowing that they are fakes. When you feel the sweats coming on, just accept them, say: "O.K. I'm sweating, so what? Other people couldn't care less if I'm sweating or not so who cares? I'll just sweat away without letting it cause me anxiety because it's really no big deal. So I'll just accept it and all the other bad feelings too!"

And if you do that enough times then you stop re-sensitising your nervous system with fresh tension and stress. And eventually (it's no quick fix I'm afraid, it takes a while) your nerves begin to desensitise and recover, and when that day dawns you will return to your previous normal state. No more sweats, no more bad feelings. But it must be genuine Acceptance of the symptoms with a minimum of fear to work, not just 'putting up with', so you must be prepared to still feel bad for a while and carry on at your work whilst practicing Acceptance.

So that's it summed up in one word, simple yes, but it takes constant practice and persistance to cure yourself. You can do it. Untold thousands have through Acceptance.

[Needtofigureitout in reply to Jeff1943]

Thanks for reading and replying Jeff. I came to a point in life where I had to confront the problem. My social life had and has been suffering but worse of all my Mrs and children were missing out on days out, meals out, general stuff families do together. I went to my GP ruled out physical issues and started out on propnaol and citalapram. Like you said, they're not a cure and early on I decided that it wouldn't be a permanent thing. I just needed to know for sure that the sweating was part and parcel of my anxiety. I would say I did 8 months or so then slowly weened off of them. At first I was fine, but more recently this side of the year, I seem to be crumbling. I used my time on citalapram to desensitise myself in different environments. Faced with meeting up with some old friends in a bar over the weekend, the anxiety I felt was so overwhelming, I was sweating inside my home and felt horrendous and didn't go. I did however meet one of my old pals the night before for a drink, which also was a sweaty experience. I became very fidgety and insisted on going outside so I could smoke my cigar which I only really brought, so I could distract myself if need be. He asked me a couple times why I was sweating like that and I just played it down by saying I might be coming down with something. I believe the stress of this weekend upset my stomach aswell which is something that I haven't experienced before. I'm really grateful for your response. I am taking onboard your advice on acceptance. This is something I've been trying to do after coming off of the tablets. But the episode this weekend feels although I'm in a worse state than before the tablets. I work in construction driving heavy machinery once I'm at work I'm fine. But if end up in close contact with people like in the canteen say, I'd definitely be uncomfortable and sweaty. Not always though.

[Jeff1943 in reply to Needtofigureitout]

Needtofigureitout, the acceptance method for recovery from anxiety disorder was devised many years ago by Doctor Claire Weekes and is described in her short book 'Self help with your nerves' available from Amazon. She herself had suffered with anxiety whilst studying for her doctors exams. That book has helped untold thousands to recover and you will soon recognise yourself in its pages. Its easy to read and is the definitive book for self help. I commend it to you.

[Jeff1943 in reply to Needtofigureitout]

Needto, one more thing, I know you are very conscious of the sweating, when I was experiencing anxiety symptoms I told people I had a slight vertigo problem as my cover story. You might benefit from telling people you have some sort of glandular problem that's causing the sweating whilst to family and close friends simply tell the truth. Then go ahead and do all the things you would normally do and when you sweat just accept it without letting it cause you fear and tension. 'Do what you fear and the death of fear is assured' will apply and after some time has passed the sweating should stop.

[Needtofigureitout in reply to Jeff1943]

Ok Jeff. Thanks. I'll keep you posted on my progress. 😀