Anxiety/Depression

Help! Im so worried. Im also new here

Hey i'm 16 and having a lot of trouble. My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year and we have had a lot of ups and downs and i've cried a lot from the fights we've had, but we've always gotten through it, lately I also havent been feeling 'myslef' its hard to describe but at times i feel as though im in a dream, sometimes I feel like i dont know anyone around me. 4 months ago I started taking Levlen Ed but after about 3 months my depression got a lot worse, at the beginning I was always so scared of my boyfriend cheating on me or leaving me and I was also scared that I was too dependant on him and too attached, this continued for about 3 weeks as well as the feeling of not being 'myself'. After that, the thoughts changed to, 'i cant look at him without crying, I don't love him, do i love him? he looks so hurt, i cant hurt him' and its making me cry all the time because i'm scared of leaving him at times then other times i can only think that i don't love him.

Growing up i had a lot of problems with my mum and that left me with having depression, I now live with my dad.

My doctor recommends putting me on anti-depressants but thats the one thing I do not want to do, so two days ago I stopped taking the pill and have to go back to my doctor in 3 weeks to see if i'm better and if not then he is putting me on anti-depressants.

What I'm asking is, am I still in love with my boyfriend and is it the anxiety and depression this last week that is making me feel like I don't? Or, am I actually not in love with him anymore?

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3 Replies

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  • regarding your question of do you love him, even though you've given us a description, unfortunately no one can answer that other than yourself. You should know it in your heart if you love him, yes, it's a possibility that the anxiety and depression is affecting how you feel + act, but you should still be able to see your love for him through all of that. You seem to be going through a stressful time at the moment. As you said, you are 16 years old. You've been in a relationship with your boyfriend for over a year. That is a big commitment, believe it or not, at your age. And of course, as you are still young and learning how to be in a relationship and how to become an adult etc, there are bound to be up's and down's. Mental health, especially in adolescents, can make you feel like you're not yourself, worthless and afraid, that's coming from someone who also felt that way before I got it under control. The fear and insecurities you have of getting your heart broken from him cheating or what not is normal. Some may say trust issues, or others may say it's just a general fear of heartbreak. May i ask, did he give you a reason to think he may do that to you? And yes, it's a good thing to not be dependent and attached to someone, because that can cause trouble in the future if something does happen. My advice to you is, even though it's not easy, i would pick a night where you sit down with your boyfriend and have a mature conversation about this, not an argument, but a serious talk. Discuss what's on your mind, how you feel about things at the moment, and he can do the same. Communication is important for a stable relationship. As for your anxiety, that all depends on you. You need to find a way to calm yourself and slow down the thoughts in your head so you can keep up with them. Surround yourself with supportive people. Take it easy x

  • Thankyou so mych for the reply, my boyfriend and I have sat down and talked and I've told him how I'm feeling, he also spoke to my dad and they both think that the pill is what has caused my emotions. Even though in my head its asking weather I love him or not, at moments I know I do and I also imagine losing him at it makes me cry everytime.

    And no he didnt give me a reason for me to think he would cheat, i was just scared and also past relationships

    Thankyou xo miasouth4

  • well, I'm glad to hear that. You're welcome!!

    All the best xx

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