Boyfriend Anxiety

[jubes842]

Hi, ever since i have gotten in a relationship i have been constantly having anxiety worrying about if he's cheating on me. i feel sick sometimes when he is out partying and i can't help it. i really want to get over this and feel more happy in this relationship because i do enjoy time with him. if someone could please help with some tips that would be great thank you.

[BonnieSue]

Have you heard of the serenity prayer? "God please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference." This short prayer says it all in a concise package.

You get to decide if you want to take the step of making and getting a commitment or pact with your BF that neither of you will give another person a kiss, hold or date someone else while you 2 are together. And that doing so ends your relationship. This pact would fall under "the courage to change the things I can." If you decide to do this you HAVE to be ready to end the relationship if he breaks the agreement or your word means nothing and you become a pitiful story and fodder for gossip everywhere. If you aren't ready to do this 100% of the time, don't make the pact. Let it go. This now qualifies as "...please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."

You are having an issue with trust. Why can't you trust your BF? I never had that problem so I can't imagine not trusting my BFs. They were enamored of me. I trusted that I was enough for them. When they lost interest in me, I would know. Think about why you can't imagine that you are enough for them. That you have their heart wrapped up in you and you are their only interest. If you can't do this, you may need counseling to get to the bottom of this. A professional can probably get some answers for you and ask the right questions and this will be important before you settle down and want to get married. You must know how to trust in the person you want to marry. You need to resolve this mistrust issue before you select a spouse. This is very important!! Seek help, please.

[Cicinoodle in reply to BonnieSue]

If you have reason to believe he is cheating, then he is.....move on and don't look back. You deserve to trust and obviously he is not the one.

[Mroth07 in reply to Cicinoodle]

Thats not true at all lol I get accused almost every time i get stuck at work longer then usual. Thats called a guilty conscience

[Cicinoodle in reply to Mroth07]

No one needs a guy with jealousy and suspicion either.

Sounds like the anxiety will kill the relationship on its own.

[Mroth07 in reply to Cicinoodle]

It really will. You can only be understanding for so long.

[Deb1658]

I know how you feel. I'm single and I really enjoy dating but it seems I start feeling jealousy, insecurity, etc. So I've stopped dating until I feel more secure with myself. Only when I feel secure about myself will I invite someone into my life. l hope this helps you a little. Good luck!!! Deb

[Healthanxietyhater]

I use to be like this due to my insecurity and jealousy but the best thing to do before getting into a relationship is to love yourself before you start loving anyone else. Also is there any reason for you not to trust him? If not give him a chance before you decide not to trust him. Maybe you should tell him how you feel as well whether it's how you are as a person or how it's made you feel from the past, but remember the first step is to start loving yourself.

[Flintridge]

Hi there,

This is such a common anxiety symptom. Sometimes we are so fearful of losing someone that our minds make up all sorts of silly things. It's just a fear of having no control. I've had the same fears in the past and have had to make a promise to myself not to go looking for signs and making up stories in my head. This is definitely a choice. You really have to choose to trust or else being suspicious and accusing your boyfriend can be a self fulfilling prophecy. When you start worrying, as hard as it may be, tell yourself "I'm going to trust him and I'm not going to tell myself stories because they will hurt my relationship". Then I want you to get busy doing something you enjoy, call up a friend, work on a hobby. Just something to try and distract you from your fears. This takes time and you may always fear this a bit but it will lessen.