Whats the point

[Ummijan]

Whats the point of having OCD if I can't keep a clean house

[Hidden]

Hello

OCD is not as straight forward as some people think , it comes in all different ways , it is not always about cleaning and washing hands

It can be making you repeat doing things over again , keeping things in a certain order and so on and trust me if you don't have the cleaning part as your ocd that is one less thing to drive you up the wall as I do and it takes over your days and stops you going out , so please don't be frustrated and wish that on yourself

How does your ocd affect you ?

Take Care x

[Ummijan in reply to Hidden]

I plan alot. I had lots of different notebooks for different things. I'm very careful over food and making sure it's suitable for the health needs fo my family. I do lots of organising with paperwork, shelves, etc. It's relaxes me. When I'm stressed a nice declutter will do the trick. I sometimes hoard stuff that I want to give people as gifts but I also collect notebooks, I love notebooks and storage boxes. I can cope with clutter if it's in a box if that makes sense. I get very upset if I try to clean and it doesn't look the way I want it to look and this wanting to be clean and never being good enough just sets me up to fail so sometimes I get too depressed to clean cos I know it'll never be good enough. I get very self agressive when I don't do things right, very stressed if I don't have the time I need to plan or organise an idea and hate myself for not bein good enough. I know it's not logical, I'm a mum to two young kids, mess is part of that, but when I look at my house and when my sister does. I see mess everywhere and get stressed and she sees a perfectly acceptable home in her words. But all I see is mess and it's my fault cos I'm not good enough at cleaning. So I think if I plan it better then I can do better. Like it's a math equation I've not grasped yet, once I find the right code it'll be easy to do I think. My hubs thinks I'm crazy but agrees I need to do better housework wise. But I also do alot of his paperwork cos I'm faster and way more neat and meticulous then him. I also write currculums and lesson resources for my teacher friends and my kids whom I home ed which I find very rewarding when I can actually sit n focus.

[Ummijan in reply to Ummijan]

I also take a long time or planning and replanting over and over until it's right (or I give up) because I'll not make it 'offical' until I'm sure it's good enough.

[Hidden in reply to Ummijan]

Do you continuously do things until you feel that they are done right?

[Hidden in reply to Ummijan]

Hello

Welcome to the club !

Sounds like me you certainly have ocd

It is a form of anxiety a way of trying to keep control but when we have it believe me no matter how perfect we keep things in our eyes it is never good enough !

Do you find yourself watching these perfect adverts where they have kids and everything is gleaming and perfect and you strive for that , I know that is my mind yet the sensible part knows that is not reality

Do you find yourself saying sorry if anyone calls for the things you feel are not perfect and pointing them out to others , again this is something I do but my ocd has got to the stage where I don't let people in because I feel they will bring me germs !

My kids are grown up now but looking back I feel so guilty as I hardly let them have any friends round all because of the ocd

But this can get better and I strongly suggest you get the help now , don't wait like I did

Your Doctor can refer you for therapy , seeing a psychologist who deals with ocd really will help , please go and talk to them and get referred because ocd is dreadful and eventually if it has not already it takes over your life and every waking moment ! so please seek the help

I have a couple of boxes that are all disorganized , I think it is just a small part that I can have some relief knowing I can accept them been untidy , maybe because I can put the lid on them and no one see's so I do get where you are coming from

You are not alone and if you want to talk just post there are others me included that do understand and I hope you will go & see your Doctor and ask for the help you deserve x

[Anxiouspony12 in reply to Ummijan]

Oh god writing lists and notes I do that all the time! It's a nightmare isn't it?'!

[Ummijan in reply to Anxiouspony12]

It is but I also kinda enjoy it to an extent. So long as it doesn't go overboard if that makes sense. Like I can make 100 lists and be super stressed about it cos they're all wrong just to visit the shops. That I don't like. But I do like the more relaxed stuff, organising and tidying and list making and such can also relax me when I'm worked up.

[Anxiouspony12 in reply to Ummijan]

Yes I know what you mean it can be good sometimes. I make lists for my ADHD too and it's good to tick things off.

[Ummijan]

Yh I'll keep doing things until I feel they're done right or I give up and cry. I won't make bread anymore cos I can never do it right even though no one complains about it.

I'm a rational person so I can see that the house isn't so bad compared to what I fear it'll be. But I can't help but worry. My soster and I got into a debate the other day about bathroom not being clean, she said it was and I pointed out lots of tiny things that weren't (to me) and she just wanted to throw water at me lol.

I just want to have a nice clean and orderly house but I can never achieve my expectations.

I'm planning, when I've got the money too, to get some jice neat plastic boxes and if I must have clutter then it can go in there. Also I want a filing cabinet for letters cos I'm sick of them being piled in boxes. The toy box is my biggest vex, cos kids need a little mess and play (which I can cope with for a while) but i want it to look neat when not in use.

Problem is I also have health issues that mean I can't clean as much as I want too which just makes the stress worse for me.

I know I'm not as terrible as I think I am but I also know I can do better. It's like the better I do the better my family will feel, that's how I feel in my head if that makes sense. I just want to make a good family home that people will like to come too. I don't like going out so my environment is very important to me

[Szs1210]

Same here.