Feel trapped by OCD.

I'm 18 and feeling very lost and trapped within my own mind. I also have suicidal thoughts.

Will this pass?

[Agora1]

Hi Applepie98, It is never wise to wait for suicidal thoughts to pass. Please seek help. Do you have family around you to support you? Looking over your posts, I don't see any mention of you being on therapy. It is warranted at this point. Please keep us updated.

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Therapy is very expensive, I'm trying to open up about it though to friends and I'm trying to see if I can get an appointment at my college for counselling. I'm not seriously considering it but OCD keeps making me think about it.

I'm trying my best.

Thank you so much for your concern. It means a lot.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

I understand Applepie, Counseling through the college is fine as well as talking about your concerns to friends. Just so you are not alone with your thoughts. Take care.

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Thank you. I just feel safe on here and I'm taking stepping stones to opening up.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

xx

[Hidden]

Hello

I have suffered with severe ocd for years and when I started with it younger than you are there was no support , it was not spoken about and mine grew and grew so I urge you to talk with someone and especially your Doctor and get help now , therapy will work believe me but you need to ask for it

I know it can play with your mind so much you can feel like it would be better not to be here any more but trust me that is the severe anxiety talking and you are better of been here that is not the answer , you would break so many loved one's hearts and I am sure that is not what you would want to do

Look at the Support numbers pinned to the right side of the page and depending where you are use the numbers if you start feeling desperate

You are not alone , so many to talk with on here that understand , please keep coming on and I am sure people will try & support the best they can if only knowing someone is listening to you as we don't always have all the answers but we do know you are not alone

Take Care x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you again for your support,

I'm trying to get help with counselling at my college. Therapy is so expensive though and I'm on student loans.

I don't think I'll ever seriously consider it but I don't know the OCD is telling me otherwise.

I'm trying to open up but it's so hard.

It's always a relief to know I'm not alone.

Thank you.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hello

I know how hard it is , part of you may feel ashamed because I know with ocd it can give us some dreadful thoughts , if we don't let it control us we may harm someone or someone we love may get harmed can be two that can scare they life out of someone with ocd , but they are thoughts , thoughts that we would never carry out that is why we get so upset and that is how ocd keeps a tight grip on us , it is like a lot of little gremlins getting inside our heads telling us all these things and they won't go away but with the right help they will , they will get less , you will learn how to control them

I know you say you are at collage , are you in the UK , because if you were your Doctor could refer you to , you have to be honest though just how bad this is , they will not take you away or anything but by been honest they will get you the right therapy

Keep going back to them let them know things are getting worse you really need this speeding up

Remember you are not the only one with ocd , everything that your anxiety which ocd is anxiety is telling you they will have heard it all before and more so make sure you tell them and do not fear what they may think because all they will be thinking is how they can help you

How does your ocd affect you ?

Mine is so complex

Here are a few

I have to clean everyday !

Cannot wear the same clothes more than once

Cannot wear or allow any family member to wear a coat more than once without washing it

I have to clean the soles of shoes as well as the tops even though they have only been worn once

Sometimes it stops me putting something on I would like to wear

I have to put everything on the same hangers when I have taking them out the wardrobe

I cannot cope with anything changing , everything needs to be in a certain place

There are so many I could list , it is hard work dealing with them all but just wanted to let you know seriously you are not on your own x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I am in the UK and thank you, you're so compassionate. I constantly wash my hands, I have to wash them like 10 times after I go to the toilet or whenever I eat. I also clench my teeth a lot.

I'm trying. I find it hard to open up.

My friends are aware of it and the college has a waiting list. I'm taking baby steps but you're right I can't do this on my own.

I feel a lot better though after your comments.

Thank you again.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hello

I presume you do this because you mind says something bad or you feel something bad will happen if you don't , believe me though it won't

There will be something that has happened or caused the fear to trigger the ocd and therapy will be able to deal with this so I really do hope that you get to the top of the list soon Meanwhile whenever you want to off load or have a chat come on here , someone will always be about that understands x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I feel emotional, your support is appreciated. I can't thank you enough. I hope things get better for you and yes that's exactly how I feel.

Take care and I will.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hope you feel emotional because you now know you are not on your own with all this

Keep coming and chatting with us when you need to and believe me this will get better x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you!