My anxiety constantly makes me think I'm going to die. I can't keep living like this!

I believe my anxiety started at least about three years ago. I was doing volunteer campaign like passing out legislature and all that stuff. Where all the stuff out of nowhere I was attacked by someone's loose dog, a pitbull. You left a dime-sized puncture in the back of my leg. The recent man who I was talking to about the campaign actually came to my Aid. He knew whose dog that was and that it was always in properly kept, it was not fenced in properly, the only blockade was just one of those rollout garbage band which it could easily slip past. He also told me that the two months prior, that dog attacks someone else's dog while they were walking down the street . I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance that he called and then I was given a tetanus shot and had my wound cleaned. the doctor told me that to spare the possible medical expense and also painful experience of taking the shots, that I was to wait 10 days while the dog was quarantined by Animal Control. As a volunteer for the ASPCA, this whole experience was shocking to me because i was never attacked by an animal before. During that waiting. I actually looked up the rabies virus online and then I flipped . I was in this constant state of fear that if I sneeze wrong if I got a cramp in my leg or even if my wound ached just a little bit... I was going to die. 12 days later I was finally contacted by the animal control and they told me that the dog was fine so I didn't have to take any shots. I was relieved... At the moment. But however I guess something in my subconscious was still unsatisfied. Every now and then I will always get these periods of what ifs scenarios. And everytime I did it will always link back to rabies. I just hate saying the word. I've been to the doctor Several times at my latest appointment I told my doctor about my leg and what happened those three years ago and if there was anything wrong with me. he told me himself that if I actually had that virus and I went untreated for as long as I did, I would not be sitting in his office right then. I was driven crazy because for the longest time I had the sensation of a lump in my throat with difficulty swallowing. once again, I thought that I was dying. only for my doctor to tell me that it was acid reflux. Gerd to be precise. sometimes my scar would be sensitive and i could feel it when i walked, especially with jeans. The nurse told me that scar tissue is senaitve and i have a puncture wound....so i have some nerves trying to fix themselves resulting in the sensations. I even been to a Ear Nose and Throat specialist who scoped my throat and told me that I was fine...just minor allergies. Im taking the medication for that atbmy reflux. The lump is still there... All of my lab test check out normal. I'm healthy as a horse but my brain still makes me think that one day im going to froth at the mouth and die. I purchased a "peace of mind" book called, "I'm Dead, Now What" for my family. 'I Can't live like this! I very small part of me thinks that if i was dead, I wouldn't have to deal with it! But I am allergic to pain, so im not jumping off any bridges soon.

Please tell me, I'm not the only one! I don't want to be thrown in a looney bin...

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8 Replies

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  • Just remember anxiety is all in the head it's not real. The mind can be your best friend or worst enemy

  • Please don't ever think your alone or the only one with this type of anxiety, there's so very many sufferers who have similar fears and symptoms, once fear and anxiety set's in it's difficult to find a way out of the cycle. My anxiety was triggered when I had an accident and broke my leg, I gradually slipped into a world of severe anxiety, I was terrified, it seemed to consume me. I've thankfully recovered, it's not easy, but it's not impossible either, I armed myself with as much knowledge and information about anxiety as I possibly could, I used youtube videos made by recovered fellow sufferers, I used books by Dr Claire Weekes, I took medication and attended therapy and courses on anxiety/stress/depression, eventually I realized that anxiety is nothing more than unpleasant symptoms fuelled by our own fears of "what ifs", try some of the thing's I mention here, and in the meantime try and remember that so so many are suffering the very same, your never completely alone, you will also find many understanding and caring people here to comfort you :-) xxx

  • Thank you. You have no idea how nice it is to know that I'm not alone. I never had a support system. This is really great for me.

  • the loony bin is the worst i meen bad im woryed about that to

  • Your not a looney. I can sit here and type " get things into perspective" but your brain will not let you. Little niggling doubts pop up and send you into a spin. So let's look at this.

    Where were you mentally before the attack? Were you concerned, anxious, upset about anything?

    The dog attack seems to have been a trigger, and now you are doubting everyone's expertise.

    Acid reflux is a symtom of anxiousness. Relax, breath deeply from your diaphragm, put yourself in a good place. Exercise, exercise, exercise. Get rid of your baggage.

    Now the dog attack. Was this the first time anything like this has happened to you outside of your home. You were obviously taken by surprise but has that now dented your confidence of being 'out there'.

    I was robbed when I was younger. Knocked me mentally and thought there was a mugger behind every corner.eventually got my act together and realised that things can happen. Flight and fight scenario. You could not run from the situation and I suppose deep down you knew that the dog could overpower you so you felt and still feel vulnerable.

    Believe you me you will get over it. It s just, unfortunately, another learning curve most of us go through in life and those make us stronger as individuals.

    Anyway, I hope I have not rambled on and if anything I have put to print rings any bells with you then that's a good thing so you can work on it.

    Regards

  • I had to admit during the time when I first went into that neighborhood I was nervous. Because it seems that I was by myself they just drop me off on the street to pass out legislation and I was on my own. And when I saw the dog, I didn't exactly paid much attention because I wasn't afraid of dogs. I was actually a lot more surprised than scared when he actually attacked me because I've never been attacked by any type of animal. it has been almost two years since I volunteered at the SPCA.

  • I'm really sorry to hear you're having a tough time with your anxieties. I am exactly the same (or may be was). I see doctors every week because I always feel like I'm being misdiagnosed and I am going to die. It's shit scary. I am with you on that. I just finished my group CBT and it helped a lot. It taught me how to address my intrusive thoughts etc. I have been feeling much calmer. But I am also starting individual CBT sessions because I learned that anxieties are so individual and I need to address them separately. Like you, I am also linking my fears of death with cancer as I lost dad to cancer last year. Every time I have a new sensation I go back to what my father and us (the family) had to go through. I will never be able to turn that experience into a positive one but I am learning to control it and stop it from affecting me that much. May be you should try CBT as well...speak with your GP about it. :) And yeah, you aren't the only one. There're so many people like us. Just take a deep breath and remember that it can be controlled. It will be a difficult journey but you'll get there. It just takes time and courage to accept the fact that your memories/experience/fears are messing with your head but if YOU create them then YOU can beat them and you will. Just ask for a bit of help :) xx

  • My deepest condolences for you and your family. And thank you.

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