No Hope, No Confindence

[Ty2020]

Over the past 4 years I have lost confidence. I cannot pinpoint when it happened, but I am now realizing this lost confidence is directly tied to my anxiety disorder. I have no hope or good feelings about anything. Any little thing that occurs in my life I jump straight to the worst case scenario. Be it health related or something completely innocuous like a noise under the hood of my car, whatever it is it must be horrible. Right now as I am typing this I am having discomfort in my lower stomach. My logical mind says all symptoms point to a UTI (as I get them every so often), but the emotional side of me has convinced myself that it is probably bladder cancer. I am so worn out mentally from doing this to myself. I need hope and confidence in myself, my life, my health. I have lost it. I am lost.

[Agora1]

Hi Ty2020, It sounds like in the past you do have confidence. It's just buried deep inside you because of the anxiety. Confidence never really goes away, it's just waiting for you to reactivate the emotion. Stay away from people who put you down or at least let it go in one ear and out the other. I believe that reinforcement of accomplishments in our lives helps restore our confidence 2 fold. If you can't get it from others, then compliment yourself whenever you do something out of your comfort zone. Stay away from Dr Google, sleep well, eat properly each day and hydrate. Meditation/relaxation and deep breathing will stabilize your mind as well as your body. Your confidence will come back. Take care.

[Ty2020 in reply to Agora1]

Thanks Agora1, I will make it happen. I have got to find myself again and shake this cloud of negativity. Btw I'm at the Doctors office and he believes it's just a simple bladder infection/UTI. So I need to just relax my mind.

[sunnyg]

I know. I get it. It's beyond hard to handle. Are you on meds? Can you see a therapist? Have you had your hormones, minerals, vitamins, and thyroid checked? What has been your plan of action so far in fighting this?

[Ty2020 in reply to sunnyg]

I am not currently taking medication, although it has been prescribed (escitalopram). I would rather not take any meds, instead choosing to focus on CBT. I have a therapist that I used to regularly go to, but she is no longer in-network with my stupid insurance. So it's been a couple of months since going, and I think it's time I pay her a visit and just pay full price. She said she would work out a payment plan ---- we shall see. As for my actual health, my last physical (blood-work, ultrasounds, etc) in April showed all was good. I even went back to the doc in August, thinking something was wrong with my stomach, and that exam and blood-work all came back fine as well. So, I know it's my anxiety.

[sunnyg in reply to Ty2020]

Darn insurance and medical costs, right? I too am off meds and hoping like crazy I can be off of them and regain my happiness. I have such a deep fear of the fear and am always worried I am going to be sick. Working on it though. At least I am beginning to eat now.

[Stan_K]

Hi Ty2020! I know exactly what you mean. If you allow it to do so, an anxiety disorder will take anything and everything away from you - but guess what? It's literally all in the way you think. What you have to do is get a pen and paper and document your experiences. Keep a journal and list exactly what you do throughout the day and how these things make you feel. At the end of the day, go back and read what you've written and see how that makes you feel. You also have to look at the positives of what you encounter on a daily basis, and there are always positives there. What happens with anxiety disorders is that it causes us to think of the worse case scenario even when there's nothing there. I remember going to a football game and I was feeling pretty decent and I started thinking about what if the stadium collapsed and what if the light-post fell on me lol! And the weirdest thing about allof these thoughts is not really the what-if's necessarily, it's about how stupid we might look if we freak out lol! That's when I knew that it really was the way that I had been thinking. Take a daily journal, document your feelings and experiences, and change your schedule. You have to confront whatever it is that you're going thru in order to get better. I was so depressed to the point that I couldn't eat and when I did eat, my body felt weird. I actually convinced myself that I was a diabetic and began living as though I was. I didn't know that I was depressed and depression can cause those types of physical symptoms smh. I was on Youtube and I stumbled across something titled A Christian's Look at Depression - Tommy, and it changed my thoughts and feelings after listening to it. There are also others talking about their experiences with anxiety and panic attacks and by listening to these people who have similar and sometimes exact scenarios, it'll almost shock your brain back into positive mode and you won't allow those negative thoughts to entire your mind. The mind is extremely strong and it effects everything that we do. Thoughts control the brain, the brain controls everything else. Stress, emotional stress, worrying etc, are all caused by the way we think. I hope that this helps you Ty2020. Take baby-steps towards getting your life back. It will happen.

[Ty2020 in reply to Stan_K]

Thank you so much for this... I know I'm late with my reply but your words mean a lot. The mind is certainly a powerful thing. I have been better as of late, but I have to stay vigilant against obtrusive, negative thoughts.

[Stan_K in reply to Ty2020]

You're welcome! I'm glad that you've been better. I hope that you continue to be well. And always remember that you're not alone and you'll NEVER be alone.