Relationship Anxiety

About 4 weeks ago, I met this guy and we really hit it off. I felt like I'd known him forever and like I could tell him anything. We're so similar yet so different and we both think we're perfect for eachother. Things got pretty serious, pretty quick in terms of stages in our relationship. We started dating about a week after we met and have seen eachother pretty much every single day since. I've told him about my anxiety, my emetophobia, panic attacks, etc. I've let myself open up completely and be vulnerable in this relationship. I have never told anyone (not even close friends) about my anxiety. When I told him, he was very understanding, supportive and non judgemental. We have already said "i love you", something we both take seriously after just 2 weeks. I truly think I may have met the love of my life. Now, the down side is that lately my anxiety has been getting in the way. I constantly find myself questioning his love for me (even though he doesn't give me a reason to question it). I keep having thoughts such as, "he's falling out of love with you", "he probably thinks your crazy", "he's going to get bored of you", "he's going to break up with you", etc. These thoughts make me depressed and sad to a point where I don't want to leave my bed. I'm constantly worrying and wanting reassurance. I just don't feel like I'm good enough for him, I think I'm too difficult of a person and nobody should have to/would want to put up with me and my anxiety. These thoughts are very draining and often result in physical symptoms such as stomach aches too. I over analyze every little thing. For example, if he's not talking, I start to worry that he's mad at me, bored, wants to break up with me, or isnt having fun. If he gives me a short text response, I think that he's losing interest and this is his way of slowly cutting me off (only later to find out that he was just busy at work). I hate thinking this way, and I feel like it's putting a strain on our relationship. This is also my first serious relationship so I dont know how to act and always worry I'm doing something wrong. Please help.

3 Replies

oldestnewest
  • How old are you? Have you had relationships before? Did anxiety hurt relationships before? You need to change your thinking to change your life. Think of three awesome things about yourself everyday and work to focus on those. Know that what is meant to be will be. Know that he is lucky to have you. Insist to yourself that you do one really fun thing with this guy a week to focus on the positives of your relationship. DO NOT read anything into ANYTHING little he does as you are putting pressure on him and you. Let him know you are anxious, but he makes you feel better and you trust him. Then TRUST HIM. Yell STOP at all of your negative thoughts. Keep busy and SMILE. Anxiety hates it when we're busy, productive, and laughing. It leaves us because it's not welcome in those situations. Gain confidence in yourself by working toward a goal and achieving it. Self esteem helps with anxiety. Love and let yourself be loved.

  • Have you ever found Sheryl Paul's Conscious Transitions website?

  • I have gone through this with pretty much all my relationships. It started last year when I would worry about the weekends and if we were going to hang out or not. Then BAM I was hit with a breakdown and it has been basically hell ever since. I have been to Drs. Tried a couple different meds (all have caused to many side effects). Tried EMDR. Tried Therapists. I think the anxiety turns into depression after a while. But I have been able to relax around him, but I just cannot tell the thoughts to stop.

    I was ok for a long time, but now it is all just too much. Too much pent up anxiety. I don't know what to do. Now my boyfriend wants to focus more on himself and needs space because his work is too demanding and it has nothing to do with me, so my anxiety is triggered even more. I feel hopeless.

    Don't get to this point. Especially if this is your first relationship that it is effecting. The book I am reading right now is by Bella Dodds. I am trying to get to the root of my anxiety and as to why its triggered by relationships.

You may also like...