I swear it is just one thing after another..

I have very bad anxiety. Even worse anxitey when it comes to my health. I feel like once one problem that I deal with for a week or two goes away.. Something else pops up and then im knocked right back down to living in fear. When does it end. When does it honestly fu*cking stop. I am so mad and so fed up! Here I sit at the Er. Like a god damn fool that I am always thinking something is wrong! I wish I would wake up and be normal but I guess that's to much to ask for!!! What did I ever do so wrong in my life. Its like my body has given up on me. FED UP.

[Icanbeathis2016]

I feel ya darling. Was just thinking the same thing. Just got through crying and talking to God. I understand your frustration, anger, worry, fear, thoughts. It's hard and it's seems like this will never end. I was just saying on someone post yesterday how it's a never ending cycle and how every week it's like a new set of symptoms team up and tag team me bringing me back to square one after I had just began to somewhat cope with the symptoms I was having here comes a new set waiting in the fucking bushes to tag team me.

[Hidden in reply to Icanbeathis2016]

Exactly!! Sick of it! I normally come on here and im positive and don't swear and always try and comfort people. But today is the last god damn straw for me! I have had enough!

[Icanbeathis2016 in reply to Hidden]

Trust me I know how FED UP you feel. It's rough. It's consuming. It's exhausting. It's the devil. What's worse is half the time it's more so me ATICIPATING something is about to happen. So I'm constantly on edge.

[JoMarie5 in reply to Hidden]

Exactly ! I have read that this is the attitude we have to have in order to change we have to be completely sick of who we are right now in order to be over this madness. We have to retrain our way of thinking 💭 but it's really really hard and I haven't mastered it yet . But I feel like if I can become an expert at understanding this mental bull shit then I will eventually be me again ? 💁🏻 Keep us posted about your trip to the er .

[Hidden]

Its like my body has given up! I hate this I really do!

[JoMarie5]

I completely understand what you are going through. I get so mad at myself. I went to the er last Thursday to be told I had a uti . The antibiotics seemed to have work but now Im back peeing more often then I should. So now Im worried that my kidneys are failing or I have bladder cancer! Wtf ! I have got to get a hold of myself! I hope everything turns out fine for you . As I'm sure it will . Stay strong!

[Hidden]

I came for abdominal pain. They are doing their tests and taking their time. So here i sit

[Angep Star]

Well at least you will know one way or another if you've got a problem.i know it's hard, hope all goes ok for you😀👍

[Hidden]

And the shittest thing of all.. I was actually doing better.. I stopped letting fear win... Then boom. I am more than done with this shit. Im gonna lose my mind I swear I am

[Hidden]

I can relate, I'm battling the same thing. It's okay to break down and be upset about it. I know it's hard but stay strong.

You're not alone!

[Agora1]

Rissa, I hear your anger loud and clear. You didn't do anything wrong in your life to prompt this fear. But you can do something to turn your life around. It sounds like the time is right for you with all the anger you have stored up over anxiety taking over your life. What will it take to have you get rid of anxiety once and for all? Have you seen the ER staff make crude remarks or roll their eyes in seeing you again? (how embarrassing) Does you own GP not listen to you anymore, turning a deaf ear to your pleas? I personally could no longer handle the behind the scenes ridicule. Even family and friends turned their back because I never seemed to get better. How often can you hear people say "Oh I am anxious too" with a smile and then tell you to just put your feet up and relax. Being anxious and suffering from an Anxiety Disorder (Chemical Imbalance) are 2 different things. I got sick and tired of feeling like less of a person. There had to be another way out of this. I knew I was strong inside but somehow had let that strength take a back seat.

No more, I started by getting mad, really mad if a symptom of fear started coming on. I would demand it to stop (out loud) saying to it that I had a life to live. I was no longer going to be held down by this anxiety bully (demon) whatever you want to call it. Once, twice, three times was the charm of putting anxiety in it's place. It started working Could it have been this easy all along? It was and it got easier. Afterall, I was better than this. I control my life, no one else. It's been 2 years now of a clear headed mind. No longer feeling drugged up. I know what I'm doing, what I want and where I'm going. I came onto this forum to support and care for others who like myself lost too many years to this nonsense. I only wish I had the support of a forum when I was going through my bad times. I didn't but I still came out ahead. Now it's "your" turn. x

[Hidden]

Thank you! I am very mad and I am at the point where I cannot take it. I know I am better than this! Today I went to a different er. Because of the simple fact that the Er 2 blocks from my house probably hate even hearing my name. They probably get sick even seeing my face! I am dealing with a few health issues. That's the real problem here. I have inflammation in my back and in my chest. My gallbladder doesn't function right which makes me constipated almost on a daily. I just got over a UTI about 2 weeks ago. I have inflammation in my stomach and a lot of acid in my stomach. And now today I have a cyst on my ovaries. They said it didn't look good and that I would need to go see another specialist to get it checked out. I am very young I'm only 20 years old. I've always dealt with anxiety since I was 17 and I've always managed it very well and had it under control. Then I started having all these health issues which made my anxiety Spike even more. Now all these health problems that I've listed I didn't make them up in my head I have been told this by The Specialist I have seen and the doctors that I have seen. So when I wake up in the morning and have pains in my body it's very hard to identify where it's coming from because of everything that's going on. I start to feel better and then boom it starts right back up again. I am going for counseling and I am on Klonopin for anxiety. But I do have health issues and they are being addressed it's just a simple fact that I have to wake up and deal with it everyday. And the saddest part of it all is that I let it control my life. Even though I have answers to why I have these pains and I have answers to the health issues it is still very hard to deal with.

[Hidden]

I used to look forward to going to bed at night. Because of everything that has been going on. But now I don't know what's worse. waking up in the morning or going to bed at night. I truly hope that I start finding peace with myself

[Stay_strong85]

Same here. 😢😫😩It's a test of faith so keep your faith ok. 😇😚whether we feel it or not God is holding us up and will never abandon us. I feel very overwhlmed and very frustrated, but I won't ever give up on myself again.