HELP!

[ripisdead]

I've always had a problem since i was young... First let me begin with since i was young i always had this thought that im gonna die or any of my parents is gonna die... I was always bullied by my older brother and my mom just makes it all worse, she doesnt understand anything and i get so mad whenever my brother says anything to me. Anyways, i always get the feeling that i cant breathe whenever i phase a problem or when something in my life changes, it's serious and i sometimes feel ready to die. I've been to several lung doctors and done alot of tests and it all says there's nothing wrong and it's all in my head, somehow im convinced that i'm dying, It gets so bad... even when i eat i feel sick and when i feel sick it gives me the feeling of throwing up and when that happens, anxiety hits! I feel like i can't breathe but i somehow can and i feel like there's pressure on my chest and there's something wrong... It feels so bad and i feel like dying because this problem is killing me, i feel like killing myself sometimes because of this, i always feel like im gonna die and i don't know what to do about it... I'll owe so much to whoever helps me figure out what's the problem... I try getting my mind off it but it somehow finds a way of coming back... There are alot of thoughts in my head that make it all worse. It's so bad.

[Hidden]

Dear friend, your story struck a cord because I also felt as you as a kid and I also xereinced bullying at achool and at home. I also come from a difficult family situation that I won't go into. All of these do contribute to develop anxiety and when we are young, we don't recognize it as such. Even now, at my age, 59, I still find it difficult to accept that my symptoms are due to anxiety.

So here is my take on your story, though I am not a doctor but just sharing my story with you :

1- people who have been like you bullied or are prone to anxiety have shallow breathing. One way to know, download or google in YouTube a 5-10 minutes meditation on mindfulness or simply Google meditation for anxiety and follow their instructions. It focuses on breathing. That's how I noticed for the first time my shallow breathing. Then if you can incorporate that in your daily life, it will help you realize you have the power to relax or to recenter yourself.

2- maybe, it would be important that you ask your gp for a referral to a psychologist or a psychiatrist to talk out your story. They will give you tools to deal with your anxiety. And/or recommend some medication though if you are young, it might be better to learn through meditation and cbt how to deal with your anxiety.

3- the throwing up feeling you have is nausea caused by the anxiety. Recently, I have developed the same issue as you though I have had it throughout the years by bouts but this time, it has lasted few days on a row. Best I have found again is mediation, yoga and before eating to chew on some candied ginger. Don't eat too many though. Only one before each meal, it will help releive the nausea.

4- people like us with high anxiety and being in denial of it and thinking with have a fearful disease, can't relax their mind but also, can't relax their body hence, without knowing it, we contract all our muscles, which in turn, can create shallow breathing, higher heart beat, but also a depletion of vital nutrients rand minerals like complex b (specifically b12, b6, folate, vitamin d3 and as far as mineral : iron, magnesium). I also suspect your diet is not the best. Important to avoid refined sugar, caffeine (not just from coffee but from chocolate, coke and so on). Bottom line, ask your doctor for some blood work and if he/she could recommend a good vitamin supplement.

5- to help you with your breathing issue, apart from mindfulness meditation, I would recommend gentle yoga that focuses on your breathing and also some regular low impact cardio exercises to improve your breathing.

6- mainly, you need to learn to love yourself because usually people with high anxiety, at least, it is my case, I have low self esteem eventhough, I have been a succeful career woman, that I have had tons of people telling how nice of a friend and a person I am. Just two days ago, I went to my doctor and her colleague from next door came out to give me a gift out of nowhere (it was a extra gift from her wedding shower) and she though about me and how kind I always was to the staff and wanted to let me know. I was blown away as I keep thinking I am a nuisance as I keep coming for this and that. So, you see, we high anxiety people have to learn we hare gentle, loving people. In my case, I am estranged from my sibling except one and my mother and yet, have a great sense of guilt that it has to be my fault that deep down, I must make an effort. But when I tried in the past, I was then felt as just being a horrible person and ended running it my doctor and feeling so depressed and anxious that my doctors prescription now is "no contact with family members". By all means, I am not implying it applies to you. I am just explaining my circumstances. I am slowly learning my anxiety triggers.

Anyway, my message is starting to be too long. Bottom line, you have been checked, trust me, obviously, your lungs are fine from the testing you had. I assume you don't smoke nor never did.

Understand that anxiety is a tricky fellow! It will hang on to you and make you follow your story in your head constantly that you are sick. The trick that I am learning through meditation is that I can choose not to follow my racing thoughts (you know what you are describing : always having thoughts in your mind that you are dying : it is typical of people with anxiety) . If you can find a meditation called "the lion mind" it gives a fantastic metaphor of what we do when our mind is busy worrying.

Above all, I know you will be ok! I have been for years until I got bakc in touch with my toxic family after the death of my sister in law, who was my best friend and sister. I am almost 60 and most of my life habe been great. I have been married for over 30 years, we have been traveling over the world and we have great friends, and we have a nice home and I had a great job. So your life is ahead of you full a great wonderful memories to built.

Just learn that you are the only one who can give yourself the approval you need, the love you deserve and that you are full of potential and hidden talent. I discovered at 54 that I could paint, at 50 that I could do fantastic jewelry and that I can still learn lots of stuff because I simply can and chose not to listen to people who will put me down let alone to listen to my mind who will trigger me to procrastinate.

Take care

[ripisdead in reply to Hidden]

I deeply appreciate your response to my message, I thank you for your time and help... I have to admit it helped a lot... in so many ways. I'm currently 14 years of age and been going through way too much which indeed is making my anxiety worse, i'm happy you could understand what i'm going through, But lately i have been having thoughts that never came to be before, this time i am deeply convinced i'm going to die. Is it normal anxiety because i have had it forever and it hasn't affected me in the way it is right now.. I just don't understand why is it different every day ? How come its too severe lately and some days it's just...anxiety... Can it be THIS bad? I'm feeling real pain... Can anxiety cause all this... as in the pain feeling too real to be just anxiety...

[Hidden in reply to ripisdead]

Dear friend, I am so sorry you are going through this. You need to understand that everything you are describing are really part of anxiety symptoms. As a matter of fact, the first symptom of anxiety is breathing issue or the feleing that one cannot breathe when in effect your breathing is fine. So be reassured that you are fine physically.

The main issue is for you to get the proper help fome a doctor to help you deal with your anxiety. See, in my case, I did not know it was anxiety that I was having. I was only diagnosed at 44 and got help to deal with it and understand that

1- everybody have some issues like body pains, and breathing shallow but the difference with most people and you and me or people who have anxiety is that a person with no anxiety will just forget about that body paint or strange feeling as a person with anxiety, their mind will keep thinking about it and make up a story and start thinking the worse and then the idea will stick like Velcro. It is an awful feeling as you know but once you know this is what is happening, then you can teach yourself to stop the feeling.

In order to do that, it is important that you talk to your parents and ask them to go to a doctor and be honest about what is going on. There are many way to deals with your anxiety and because you are so young, you will be able to overcome it and move on to enjoy a wonderful life with friends and family.

Trust me when I tell you that what you are going through is an overactive mind who is focusing on thinking you are sick. I know, I could be your grandmother and I have been through what you are describing to a T. But I swear, you will be ok. This forum here is great to get advice and to find reassurance but it is not enough right now. So please, go and talk to someone you really trust, your mother, your father, an uncle or and aunt and tell them what you just wrote. They will be the one capable of truly find the right kind and healing words to make you feel better and give you the support and help that you need.

Take care and be kind to yourself. You are ok! Really.

[ripisdead in reply to Hidden]

I thank you for your response. I'll definitely be seeking help as soon as possible...

[sweetiepye]

You are not dying. Even the worst panic attack or bout of anxiety will not kill you. What they will do is scare the devil out of you and then you start dreading the next one and you get so tense you have another attack and so it goes. You need to tell your Doctor so he can guide you to the correct medical person. Because you are young it could be a different process than for an adult. I took anti-depressants and had therapy which worked well for me . You can get help for this. It's not unusual to have many random thoughts with this, the problem swallowing , feeling faint, jelly legs they are all part it.

I'm sorry you don't have the support of your Mother, it's probably because she doesn't understand what's going on. Is your brother older or younger? If younger ignore him if older tell him to man up and stop bullying you.

One thing I used to do was to drink cold water when I felt an attack coming on. The water helps and the drinking of it diverts your attention from the panic. Another is to control your breathing, slow it down and breath from your stomach. The other replies you got have very good advice. Remember, YOU ARE NOT DYING. Post as much as you need to, I'll be here

Pam

[ripisdead in reply to sweetiepye]

Thank you for your response, it means alot to me... I'll be seeking help as soon as possible. Thank you for your time

[Agora1]

Hi ripisdead, It sounds like you have been holding all your emotions in including the anger with your brother. Being bullied is hurtful no matter who it's coming from. I think you are just so overwhelmed with negative feelings that it feels as if you might die. Your emotions are causing you to feel sick when you try to eat. Feeling like you are going to vomit trigger your mind to send out "danger" signals and the anxiety hits. It's all a big circle of stress in your life. That circle needs to be broken. You say there are a lot of thoughts in your head. Well those thoughts need to be addressed. They need to come out and until they do you will continue this circle of frustration and fear. You need to see a therapist who can help you work through your stress. It sounds like you have been carrying this around for a long time.

It doesn't have to be "so bad" but you need to reach out for help so you can have some direction in getting better. My best to you.