third age

Hi, well i'm 69,husband died 5 yrs age.I also have a child looking adter who is autistc and had visual impairment.I suffer from stress, not surprising as I cared for my husband for 19 yrs and have had my grandchild child with us for 13 yrs, and adopted him when young.

I have been told that "my stress levels are comprable to the weight I carry ", which is great to know i'm not loopy but not a lot of help other wise.

I have no relatives within a great distance and the ones I do have are older than myself.

The childs rarents have no connection with him - their choice - so I am on my own coping with too amny things.

Anyhow this is me!!

Regars to all


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14 Replies

  • Hello thirdage, you are quite a woman who sounds strong willed to take care of all you've been given in life. It doesn't surprise me that your stress levels are comparable to all you deal with. I do admire you in being able to keep up the pace. You have some big challenges. The fact that you have no relatives who can help you out makes me wonder how you don't burn out. Caregivers, no matter how dedicated, need that little break to collect their thoughts and energy. I wonder if it would be possible once in a while to give yourself that "me time" to do whatever you want. Maybe a neighbor or young person could come in to give you that break. If you are not able to leave the house, then just knowing that you are not on call but nearby, can do wonders for your mental state as well.

    I'm glad to have met you and hope to hear from you again. This is a wonderful forum for anxiety/stress but also a release for many who are lonely and overwhelmed. Take care thirdage. x

  • Hello and thank you for your reply, no there is no one to take over from me..which is again a worry in itself.

    would be glad to hear from you anytime. take care x

  • Glad to hear from anyone wanting to chat

  • Hi thirdage, I remember talking with you 7 months ago. How have you been? I'm here, we're here if you need to talk. x

  • still having problems with school, not been there in 6 months as it made child mentally unwell. still in battle with local education etc. today not been good as have had pins and needles/numb feeling in arms etc and know I am stressed beyond belief.

    not having family and very limited friends, as you do if you are a carer or have been - you seem somehow to loose contact with people and my lifestyle id somewhat unorthodox in that instead of having a young person who you look after but goes back to parents end of day etc we are together permanently, which is a different lifesyle totally from most retired people - infact I have never had the pleasure of knowing what retirement is like with caring for husband 19 yrsplus a young baby.

    not that I am sorry we took on the responsibility but now with the extra peoblems it's hard.

    if you remember he is Aspergers and ,partial sight due to brain processing.

    How are you doing? better than I am I hope.

    Nice to hear from you again. not had the time to contact anyone let alone energy. x

  • thirdage, I certainly understand how busy your day is as well as being drained of energy to do much else. It's difficult caring for someone on a daily basis. I remember you telling me that you didn't have anyone you could rely on in order to give yourself a little break from time to time. (which is so important)

    I don't doubt that you are burned out both physically and emotionally. Having this lifestyle is different at any age for others to understand.

    I hope you try coming on the forum more, it's a good outlet for you. It is something I look forward to everyday in talking and helping others. Take care of yourself dear. x

  • Hi, I had tingling in arms yesterday and pain in chest, Dr said it was stress, this morning got up to go to loo 4 am not long after pains started again - not helped by the fact I stretched across the bed to retrieve something and have again funny hands and left arm - waiting for nurse to phone , as they do and see Dr with a bit of luck. hope it's nothing to worry about as I have Ry to consider. lets hope it's stress and a warning.

    Regards xx

  • thirdage, please let me know how you are doing after you see the doctor. x

  • ECG ruled out heart probs so as area seems a little congested must be muscular, glad to say, but really need to try and chill a bit more- although nothing wrong bit of a wake up call personally for me

  • thirdage, I'm glad the news was good, but as you say, a wake up call. Sometimes we need that in order to push us forward and make some time for us. Take care of yourself. x

  • Thanks. Lovely day here but could be a little warmer. Thanks ft your mail, taking pills to help with pain but hope to improve soon. Keep in touch. X

  • xx

  • Hi there you sure have a lot on your plate. Have you much contact support with social services or community support groups. They may be able to refer you to various support services such as respite or additional carer support? Thanks x

  • Hi thanks for your message. Get a few hours allocated but still have school issues. Glad to say pains in chest tingling arms/numb feeling seems to be muscle problems as ECG ruled out heart so that good.

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