Marriage in tatters, citralopram making me worse? Two small children to cope with!

I've just started on citralopram. Doctors have prescribed me this for anxiety and depression. I can't sleep, my hearts racing, I feel sick and feel dizzy. I haven't had much trouble sleeping before this as I'm so tired. I have a 2 year old and a four month old and I'm struggling to cope anyway and with not sleeping ontop of having a baby waking if I ever manage, I don't see how I can manage. Does anyone know of any better mediation or if this will go?. I'm only 5 days in and am on the edge.

I became depressed and anxious during my second pregnancy as I had a form of extreme morning sickness which was debilitating and I couldn't get to work during most of pregnancy or look after my first child. My husband then said the classic, 'I love you but I'm not in love with you' not long after giving birth and despite wanting to work on things I can't pull it together to try l. I feel I'm just pushing him away further. I'd love any advice on how to cope with anything from kids, heartache to medication as I've really not been in a position like this before and I'm feeling desperately anxious with utterly everything and so low I feel like I'm being an awful mother. I don't see how I can work on my marriage when I'm such a mess! I love my husband and want to be with him, but I'm so hurt as he says he resents me for not being myself and not making him feel wanted and I worry he has unrealistic expectations of family life. I can't cope with this crushing anxiety as I'm up now in the middle of the night with what I think has been a panic attack


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6 Replies

  • When I started sertraline/Zoloft I felt the same way. Almost like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I would get headaches and on and off blurry vision. I was very irritable and on edge. The worst of it lasted about 2and a half weeks but it was roughly 4 weeks before the meds were in my system.

    I'm sorry to here things aren't going so well in your marriage. That's so hard to deal with on top of starting new meds let alone being a mommy to 2 little. Do you see a therapist? If so maybe bring your husband with you so you can talk about things with a therapist.

    Things that helped me were, going on walks, taking hot baths, aerobic exercises and drinking hot water.

    I wish I was more help cause I know exactly what you're feeling with the meds. My daughter was 4months old when I started meds. And it was an awful experience cause I was overwhelmed with her and my meds and life. I stopped meds after a year and just went to therapy and exercised. I don't like meds, they aren't for me. I hope you feel better soon!!

  • Hi. I am so sorry you are going through a terrible time. I started sertraline 26 days ago and I honestly thought I was never going to get better. I was bed ridden for a week, monitoring my heart rate very hour. I was nauseous, dizzy and weak. I only continued taking by reading all the encouragement on these forums. I woke up yesterday and all my symptoms had gone. Hang on in there. Do you not have anyone to help you with looking after your children?

  • Firstly.. do you have family nearby? Do they know your situation... 14 years ago I had a 6 month old and 2 year old .. more or less very similar to what you’ve written... I moved in with my parents.. I took my children as I couldn’t bear to be away from them .. my husband stayed sometimes but he worked long hours and struggled to cope.. it took about 6 weeks .. but eventually I felt strong enough to go home with the help of family , medication and a very lovey midwife who had kept in touch and did the post natel groups ..there-was chinks of light at the end of the tunnel .

    My life is not perfect I have anxiety still but nothing like those early days .. I have a 16 year old and 14 year old whom have grown into fantastic young adults.. and I’m still married ( not perfect but still together)

    My advice hang in there get all the support you can , take the meds’ for at least 6 weeks .. read self help books .. if you can see a councillor to talk to ( I paid) nhs took 6 months ) but cbt May be useful..

    During the day just do what is absolutely nessassary .. make sure your kids are loved and cuddled .. your husband will be fine he just doesn’t know how to be ..he’s just been pushed down in the pecking order to 4th place .. even if you weren’t suffering , a lot of men find adjusting to a new baby a struggle .. seeing their wife/ partner in a difficult situation.. they tend to bury their head in the sand .. he’ll come round once he starts to see your still the same person ..

    it’s a massive adjustment becoming a family of four but give it time and I’m sure you’ll start to see some improvements.. keep strong.. you can get through this ! Good luck !

  • Thank-you I much for this! My parents live nearby and are great. We told our families what's been going on this week.

    My husband isn't a bad guy and he is a great dad. He just isn't in a place to relieve my anxiety with affection and declarations of love as he doesn't feel that way towards me. I think it's te state of not knowing what's going on now let alone how this will work out that's killing me.

    I'd been playing with the idea of going to my mum and dads for a bit and think I'm going to try just staying in the spare room and keeping busy or out the way for a day or two then move to theirs as I can't manage this and I'm scared it will force his hand to leave.

  • I am on citalopram started on 20 mg now on 40 mg, going on 6 weeks now the first 2 weeks were kinda rough but it gets better stick with it.. my doctor also gave me valium 2.5 mg to take when needed to help until I was adjusted to the meds. I was scared to take them finally did on the 5th day and they are a lifesaver!! Best of luck to you!

  • And I have a 6 yr old 11 yr old and a 17 yr old my fiance has put up with a lot but has stuck by me had our ups and downs bit it was hard for him to deal with at first. He finally told me it scared the crap out of him because he didn't understand it and he couldn't fix it.. I hope you and your husband can talk about it just be really honest about everything.

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