I don't know where to start. Well yesterday was not one of my best mood days. I was more on the downside. I had went to church with my mom and as I'm in church and I trying to focus on the pastor I get dizzy again. And then light headed too. So as it happens my mind start to race and then I get that rush of adrenaline over me which made me on edge. So I'm in church sort of nervous and hoping it doesn't get any worse. Thankfully it didn't get much worse but the simple fact that stuck was that I was still feeling detached whIle trying to focus on the Lords word. It made me even more stuck in my thoughts because I was in church but I continue to talk to God I did some breathing. Like I said it didon't get worse but that basically had already set my mood off and where I didn't want to be mentally. Then as the day went I was basically still agitated and frustrated from just going through all of this. Later that night my daughter and I ended up having a bit of argument that I know I was already frustrated before that but he smallest things really get to me now. So my night was so emotional. Then this morning my mom calls me and says some things to me that I felt was uncalled for. And it hurt my heart. And after all I thought me and her were finally bonding and she was being their to support me but my mom is always the type to say what she wants no matter if it hurts your feelings or not and for her to just say some things we kind of had a few words back in forth and I'm never the type to argue with my mom. But still the few words we did have my feelings were so hurt. Wen we hung up all I can say is I cried out and yelled, "Jesus, what are you trying to tell me?! The devil is really attacking me!! What is it?! Is it my time!?" I started feeling light headed a bit and I was trying to get some sleep before my mom had called but after that I could not even sleep. I feel even worse and now I don't know what today is going to be like. Now my mind is racing again, and I got the scare and the what if again. I feel like my brain is releasing energy and I feel wierd mentally. And the first thing I want to do is go to a doctor again because I think I may have a brain tumor or my brain could be bleeding or anything like that because I don't feel right in my head. I don't know how my life got to this.
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