Fake things in my life

I'm fed up of putting on a brave face. Some days l just want to be by myself and really don't want to get out of my safe haven my bed. I nod off and the next thing lm have slept for 2-3 hours and lie there and just think empty thoughts. Not sure how I've pulled it off but been offered a part time job. Just think will l be a failure ? Used to be so position and just go with the flow. I am looking after my parents and find no time for myself. I'm on antidepressants but find everything seems to overwhelm me.

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  • I spend nearly every day in bed trying to forget my problems - none of which are resolvable. I have 2 dogs and used to walk them twice a day but now it is just once and I take them out before it gets light in the morning because on top of everything else I am now agraphobic. I never clean the house or do things I should. I don't want to, or can be bothered to eat. Everything tastes horrible. They say walking is good - which it is, but I just cannot bring myself to do it. To make matters worse I live abroad and cannot speak the language sufficiently well to be understood and I can't understand the locals. I have no friends. If I could find a good home for my dogs I would kill myself. This is not life it is just an existence

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