Lonely.

[Annielane]

I have no friends. I'm the third wheel in every situation even if it's just me and one other person. I'm always the last choice. I'm just different than everyone.. I try to put myself out there and make plans but I get bailed on and pushed to the side. Every time.. Am I doing something wrong? Is the only way to have friends is to drink and party and make bad choices? To listen to shitty music and talk about inappropriate thing? Because I'm not going to do that. So I'm I just screwed cause I'm not gonna ruin my life with dumb mistakes in highschool?? I try so hard.. And I fail everytime. My friends always betray me. I'm always alone. Will I always be alone!? I'm sick of everyone trying to be so positive about how crappy things are! I get that you're trying to make the best of the situation so kudos to you but you're making me feel worse! It makes me feel guilty. Ugh. I don't know what to do.

[Agora1]

Hi Annielane, more power to you for holding a high standard for yourself. As much as it hurts, I don't think you would want to be a part of a group that you are uncomfortable with just so you fit in. You will not always be alone, believe me. As you get into your twenties and thirties, you will be happy that you stayed on the straight and narrow road. It takes a strong person to respect their values. x

[Annielane in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much. I know.. I just want to have friends you know? Thank you for your encouragement.

[hsladyrose]

I completely understand how you feel. Very much! I also give you a BIG pat on the back for not succombing to peer pressure and refusing to change who you are just to win others approval. Do not ever do that. Stay true to who you are. (Period) And I totally agree with Agora. Once you get out of high school you'll find much changes. Hang in there!

[Annielane in reply to hsladyrose]

Thank you so much. I look forward to those years.

[stressed-eric]

I was like that once, I would struggle to be accepted and always be taken for granted, but once I STOPPED TRYING to be accepted, I worried less and you know what, people recognise that and the strange thing is they let you in more.

I don't know you or your friends but part of it sounds like you have the wrong kind of friends.

I don't know anything about anything but don't friend someone for the hell of it,

You will find your feet.

It does feel shitty sitting around watching those you are with enjoying themselves but all you want to do is leave.

You'll get there, don't try so hard.

And don't let it get you down,

All the best.

[Annielane in reply to stressed-eric]

I don't feel like I'm trying to be accepted.. But that just makes me more alone. Thank you, I'll do my best.

[patrica60]

how old are you?

[Annielane in reply to patrica60]

16, almost 17.

[top12]

keep up that high standard don't worry about your peers that feel just as bad it doesn't show but they do, trust me,the teen years are never easy for anyone, no mater how much they claim they are . it's all show, so don't give up .. it does get better !!! .

[Annielane in reply to top12]

You're right.. And I'm aware of that, but it's still just as hard you know? Thank you.

[treds87]

Hi AnnieLane

I'm exactly like that as well, and I'm 29 now. I wish I could say it changes, like what everyone else is saying, but that is not my experience at all, not yet anyway.

I did take some of their advice though, i still haven't given in to what other people are doing, and I have accepted(sort of) that I'm just different.

I have aspergers syndrome, have you heard of it? Its on the lower end of the Autistic spectrum, and it's the reason peer pressure has no effect of me, and why I think young people (15-35 year olds) and even some older people are just stupid, making the same mistakes again and again without learning,

or talking about stuff that just has no point to it,

o why my "friends" all feel like traitors,

and why the whole world seems to think drink and drugs are acceptable recreation activities when I just feel like, "why are they doing that, don't you know it's bad for you?"

Basically my aspergers makes me want to follow the written rules, but not really understand(or know about) the unwritten social rules, like when it's OK to leave a conversation and why people have to be touching all the time lol.

You may want to look into it if you feel this could be a possibility for you.

Anyway good luck, and I'm hoping the 40s is when my time will come to "fit in" but for now, my advice is don't try so hard, nobody else is are they?

Best wishes

Treds 🙂

[Annielane in reply to treds87]

Hey treds, I have heard of it, way to stay strong through all of that. I totally get how you feel! Not to the same extent though. I don't think I have it, but I can relate to you. Thank you for the encouragement.

[Tonyhope]

You do have friends, thats God, angels an the people in Christ.

[Annielane in reply to Tonyhope]

You're right. Thank you. I do wish that the world was more Godly though. It's hard to find kids in high school that love the Lord and it makes me feel more lonely, you know? But you are right.

[anonww9]

Hi,

I relate to this so much, I am also really unfortunate with friends. What I can say to you, is that people who you have to change yourself to be around aren't good friends, and if it means your own company is the best company; so be it. You're always welcome to talk to me, I know I'm only a stranger- but we're kind of in the same boat.

When I left secondary school, I left entirely to go to college so I would make friends, and I haven't. Now I'm counting on Uni, but who knows. I don't know how old you are, but I'm 18 in september and I have found that:

1) Anyone who betrays you was never a good friend in the first place, take it as a learning experience for next time and remember that these people have saved you later hassle.

2) Partying and drinking and being wild for friends is not a good idea, because you build yourself a persona you can't keep up because that simply isn't you.

3) Remember that you will always have yourself, I know it isn't nice to have yourself to count on- but you're never going to betray yourself.

4) You're not always going to be alone, it sucks now- but later on whether it's a boyfriend or friends you're going to have people who appreciate you for who you are!

Well done on putting yourself out there, it is hard to make and keep friends especially in today's society when you see people on social media having so much fun together.

You always have me, and others on this site

Best of luck, keep me posted

x

[Annielane in reply to anonww9]

I'm so sorry you're also struggling with this. The same goes to you, if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm all ears! Those are some really good points. I hope college gets better for you. And I hope it's good for me too (I'll be 17 in October so I have a while..). Thank you so much for the encouragement. Good luck to you!

[anonww9 in reply to Annielane]

We're close enough in age what are you doing, if you don't mind me asking? And you're welcome!

[Annielane in reply to anonww9]

Ya! Like what am I doing in this moment or like general?

[anonww9 in reply to Annielane]

At school/college when you start again? You said you're 17 in october so if you're from the UK I'm guessing you've just finished your GCSEs?

[Annielane in reply to anonww9]

I'm not from UK, so I have 2 more years of high school before I go to college..

[anonww9 in reply to Annielane]

Ah okay, apologies good luck with your new school year and make sure to update us on how it goes

[Annielane in reply to anonww9]

No worries! Thank you, you too! Will do 😊

[Ejm0316]

Tbh alot of people are going down the wrong path so the fact that you pave your own should make you feel confident and original! Keep on keeping on.

[Annielane in reply to Ejm0316]

Thank you, I'll do my best!

[pamb67]

I'm new to here I'm 49 and lack confidence I say to the person who feel like they don't fit in be true to itself always and u will be ok there r good people out there good luckx

[Annielane in reply to pamb67]

Welcome! You've come to the right place, everyone here is extremely encouraging and kind! We are glad you're here! Thank you for the kind words! Good luck to you too!

[TJT188]

First thing's first... You're a human being, that deserves to be happy... You deserve happiness and to be treated equal... I understand the world we live in doesn't always allow the things to ever be possible, or at least it seems that way... Hey listen, I've been through highs, lows, been turned inside out and back around... But we keep on keeping on, that's our pleasure!!...Never mind the negatives that come from others, never allow the negativity of others block your beauty from shining, because you are a beautiful soul that deserves the happiness and well being, just as the next person does... Don't let them bastards grind you down... Take one day at a time... If you ever need an ear, I'm here for you

[Annielane in reply to TJT188]

Wow, thank you so so much. I needed to hear that. Thank you. 😊

[top12]

just don't give up sometimes your teens are the way they are for a reason and your true friends come once you grow up ..... so don't give up .

[Annielane in reply to top12]

Thank you, I'll do my best.

[Malteselover]

I agree, HS is really hard. I also agree as you go off to college things seem to really change. It takes a strong person to handle all this & you should be proud that you are a great person and others will have many life regrets in which they are living.

[Annielane in reply to Malteselover]

Thank you, I'm really looking forward to college. Thank you for that 😊

[thirdage]

Hi, I know about being lonely, have spent most of my life like that....not nice at all.