Anxiety is stopping me living

[Susie_24]

Hi there, I'm new to this so please bear with me. I've been taking anti depressants for over 15 years now, mostly for anxiety but also for depression. I've just started a very short college course which involves me going on placements, and so far I've made it in for the first day of the first placement and nothing since. I'm hiding in my flat, too scared to phone the college and explain what's going on. I've lost countless jobs over the years; my anxiety seems to stem from when I started a new job and felt completely out of my depth. Ever since I have either started jobs but been off sick pretty much straight away, or haven't made my first day at all. I know what I should do, as everyone keeps telling me - exercise, take up a hobby, spend time with people, but I just can't find the impetus to do any of it. This course was my chance to turn things around, try a new career and I've messed it up again by not going on placement. It isn't even paid either, so it's not like an actual job, so I don't know what my problem is!! I'm taking fluoxetine just now but I don't know if I've been taking things for so long they just don't work anymore. When I stay off I end up feeling a million times worse, I can't eat, my arms feel all tense and weird and I cry at the drop of a hat. Why would it do this if it makes me feel worse???? I'm worried about my future, my ability to hold down a job. If anyone has any thoughts I would love to hear them. Thanks for your time.

[Agora1]

Susie_24, First of all, welcome to this anxiety forum, I think you will realize that you are not alone in what you are going through. It's very difficult when your world is turned upside down and there seems to not be an answer. One thing to always remember when reading people's responses and that is to take it with a grain of salt. We are all different in how we respond to ways of making anxiety subside enough so that we can live a fairly normal life. It sounds like this is where you are at right now. You mentioned taking drugs for so long that you wondered if they no longer are effective. It could possibly be. I was put on a drug for many years until it no longer worked and then I was switched from drug to drug hoping to find one that worked. After playing this game for 6 years and becoming Agoraphobic, I decided that enough was enough. How much worse could it get not being on anything. With my doctor's consent, I very slowly was taken off my benzos (took 2 years). It was the most difficult thing I had ever experienced BUT now 2 years after stopping the meds, I feel more clear headed and like my old self again. Oh yes, anxiety will always be my partner but not to the extent that it was when on drugs. I am in control once again because I learned how to use other techniques in dealing with the anxious thoughts and symptoms. As I said Susie, we are all different so what works for one may not be the answer for another. Only your doctor can advise you on that. I hope you read this with an open mind and know that the is a future for you out there. Wishing you well.

[Ed101]

Many of us are going through very similar situation and i was trying to get back to doing things just like you(taken courses as well, tried full time work) but it just didn't work out. I did CBT and it helped somewhat but i won't be going back to school until i feel like i'm ready. Make it about yourself now, try to get better first before doing those things. I still keep doing things i was told in my group like going out more and not making everything so easy(part of beating this will have to involve facing those fears)...So i do try to get out and put my self in more uncomfortable situations. It's supposed to get better with time and so i have noticed some difference. I'm sorry you're going through this but it'll get better. Be strong!

[juzme]

Hi. I have felt similar to this. Every morning waking up feeling sick call in work to say cant come in. Everyone I come across all say I look tired even when I dont feel tired or you don't look well when I'm on a rare day of feeling good. One thing I found to help is meditation. Lots of free apps on line for these & I've found it helps me to feel alot better-calmer. Consisentancy is whats needed to try it a few times a day everyday. Worth a try.