ANYONE ELSE EXPERIENCING THIS?

Okay, this is going to be long. I'm new to this. In 2012 I was diagnosed with depression, I had it for a few months but then shortly lapsed out of it. Sometime after a nap I wake up and I feel numb. I haven't being diagnosed with anxiety but I'm pretty sure I have it. I'm awating an appointment to see a psyciatrist to hopefully find out what's wrong. I was with a partner for two years who I loved, we split last year, on very bad terms. I then ended up in hospital with an overdose, and then another overdose two months later due to domestic abuse. I met my boyfriend now who i've been with for almost six months, we've been fab (up until now), he's super caring, he's always there for me, supportive, reassuring, everything that you could ever look and wish for in a guy. I've been suffering from these thoughts now for nearly a month where I have CONVINCED myself that I don't love him anymore and that I'd be okay if he left and it wouldn't bother me. He is my best friend, and my rock. It started a month a go when my mind felt like it split into two parts - the left side was saying "You do love him" and the right was replying "No you don't" - now, it's so bad to the point where I don't want to be with him and i've convinced myself that i've fallen out of love and am expericing symptoms of anxiety, as I've googled it and other women are suffering the same. My counsellors have told me that I shouldn't finish it, but I'm truly convinced i'm in the wrong relationship and that he isn't 'the one' - surely if he wasn't the one or i am in the wrong relationship, i would've known before now, counsellors have suggested that it may be a defence mechanism due to me being hurt in the past, but it isn't as I trust my boyfriend. It's as though 'deep down' I don't want to be with him and I physically cannot see this is anxiety but other people can! Everything says finish it, but when I did last week my heart sank, so this is obviously not what I want. HELP

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I also experience a weight on my chest sometimes, I get a 'numb' feeling in my chest and heart, I feel like there's physically something missing inside me. Sometimes I feel physically i'm here, but mentally, i'm not. I block things and people out. Sometimes when i'm with my boyfriend, this feeling goes away, but when i'm sitting thinking about it, it seems to get worse. I was sure I had an anixety attack yesterday morning, I experienced a sharp pain in my chest, I fel like my ears were blocked and I couldnt see properly for a good few minutes due to me going extremely light headed

[Sambee]

I have been going through the same thing with my fiancé who I have been with for a very long time I do believe this is the anxiety and not Youre feelings talking. The best thing I can suggest is not make any decisions till you are in a better state of mind. As losing your partner whistle you are in such a vulnerable place will not help youre condition. x