Feeling so unwell

[Blondiful]

Hi guys I'm new to this a few days, I'm writing because Wheni was awake about an hour I was feeling good for first time in a while, it didn't last long I was thinking about where's the dizziness and shakiness (in my head) and then wham it hit me nauteous,dizzy,shaky, sick stomach, racing heart, chest pain, i just feel so unwell, the fear of fainting or falling is huge, fear of dying is even greater, i hate feeling like this, I just want to be over this and feel normal

[Hidden]

Hello

How are you feeling now ?

It made me smile as this is just how anxiety works , we feel ok and then it is like something is missing as we are not used to this feeling so we invite it back in instead of leaving the door shut on it

You have to try and look at this though as a positive because if you had not been making such good progress you would have never known it had come back and when we are suffering with anxiety and overcoming it we will have good and bad days this is normal

Are you getting any other kind of support with your anxiety , family , friends , Doctor maybe ?

I hope reading the posts will have helped in a small way , knowing you are not alone with how you feel

Take Care x

[Blondiful in reply to Hidden]

Hi bounce my family know and I've tried explaining as best I can how I feel, I sometimes get from them just go for a walk and don't be thinking about it, so I don't always tell them, my doctor has basically known me my whole life and knows the trauma of loosing two friends from brain cancer brought on my panic attacks and anxiety, when my bloods came back clear he more of less said go on and stop worrying, I have two kids that are my life and I have to keep going for them, so I push through the brain fog and anxiety, I go to their games even though I'm scared driving alone with them, I hate taking them on long walks or too far away from home and it all boils down to me dropping dead and leaving them alone, (one friend died suddenly) I planned my wedding this year and felt somedays everything was on top of me, but on the day I had the most amazing day of my life with no symptoms all day,but the next morning the dizzy spaced feeling came back with a bang, I work part time and from the outside I'm smiley out going hair stylist, but inside Im scared of what's going to happen, my headaches and face pain bring on more panic, I feel better when my husband gets home from work, but I want to get back to the happy go lucky person I once was, enjoying my kids instead of having no energy and afraid of falling with this dizzy feeling. Sorry for the essay 😬

[Hidden in reply to Blondiful]

Hello

O my goodness how awful for you to loose two friends , one is bad enough but two I think it is understandable how your anxiety triggered A lot of what you wrote you could have been writing about me x amount of years ago , I won't say how many though

I always had a fear of death , especially when my Dad had his heart problems this helped feed it more and like you I would put a mask on to the outside world for them but underneath it I was a mess !

I also felt more secure when hubby was about as well as the guilt that I was not enjoying been a Mother because the fear took over every waking thought and that is what it was the fear giving me all the symptoms I was getting , I had so many I think some have never even been heard of before and I would be a walking miracle if I had ever had all I thought I had

I used to be at the Doctors everyday , and they would say what are you dying from today ! mu husband would say the same to , it would not be Good Morning it would be what is wrong today !

I know once we are in this cycle it can feel like we will never come out of it but we do , takes some hard work , changing the thought process we have adopted but we can and you will to

Family are not always very good at understanding , other than my hubby mine still don't , I think it is as this cannot be seen or maybe it is because they are frightened of the unknown I really don't know but you have plenty of people on here that understand and will not dismiss how you feel

Even if you have had some Counselling before , I would urge you to see the Doctor and tell them this is not going away and you would like to be referred for some , when I was suffering there was hardly any support , now even though a long way to go there is so much more support out there but please ask for it , I do not think you will regret it

As good as I have got my Health Anxiety under control big traumas can still set it of again and I lost my Dad over a year ago and boom it can back , me believing I was going to go now like my Dad had , I even started getting all the symptoms where I went for tests !

My Doctor said to me , I was not my Dad , we are all individuals and because of that there was no evidence I was going to go like my Dad had and she was right

You are not your friends , you are you and you will have a long time in this world with a wonderful family to enjoy , get that help so you don't waste years like I did even if there was no choice , that would be the one thing I would change if I could , there was more help years ago

Take Care x

[Blondiful]

Bounce thank you for replying so fast, I've tears in my eyes reading this, I'm sorry for you're loss i couldn't imagine how you coped, I know how strong we are and I've full faith we will all one day get over this, just trying to find a way out is the hardest part, I have looked up some counsellors in my area, I just need to get the courage to ring them, I'm so afraid of what they will say, I went to a second doctor after a massive panic attack she gave me self help book names to get which I read, I do listen to relaxing music etc, you are right I need to remember I'm not my friends and I'm my own person. I appreciate all you have said I'm going to go talk to my doctor again. I wish you all the best, you seem to be doing a lot better, you are strong and passing on advice is helping us so thank you for that,I'm glad we all have each other to talk too on here, so glad I found this site

[Hidden in reply to Blondiful]

Hello

My little red bell does not seem to be working so I nearly missed your reply

Sometimes searching to much can create anxiety it can be more about accepting , accepting that we are suffering with anxiety and yes really unpleasant but not going to kill us

You have got the courage to ask your Doctor well I would see tell your Doctor you want referring for some Counselling

Some not all will try & throw a few leaflets at you hoping you may go away and that will be that , others will tell you your options straight away but the main thing is we have to remember Doctors are there working for us , I mean without us they would not have a job so we have every right to ask or say what we feel we need , you can do this and will look forward to either your reply or next post saying you have made that step , nothing whatsoever to be afraid of , nothing you say and believe me on this one they have not heard before as well as a 1000 times worse , in fact my advise would be not to hold back but tell them exactly what is going of in your head , again I made that mistake only saying so much and then wondering why it was not working very well , now the answer is simple , they can only go on what we tell them , now if needed I tell on a need to know basis all ( sometimes they may wish they had never asked )

I hope you will do this , firstly for you as you are the most important and then so it will help and benefit the rest of your family to x