Hi I'm new here. My name is Jack. I have a depressive illness and anxiety disorder. I also have hepatitis c. Recently I have been suffering some unpleasant symptoms with my hep c and it has exacerbated my anxiety. I also recently stopped taking an antipsychotic I've been prescribed for years. I didn't inform my CPN or psychiatrist that I was going to stop taking it. I'm not on a CTTO so I just stopped taking the quitiapene. My anxiety levels went through the roof. This was also complicated by the fact that I've been reducing my dose of diazepam over the last few months too. I had been taking 60mgs a day last year when I was so ill I was hospitalised for a time. So now I'm stable on 5mgs of diazepam a day and that's what I'll be staying on. I've suffered terrible symptoms of anxiety for years but in the last few months the combination of hepatitis c symptoms, quitiapene withdrawal, benzodiazapines withdrawal and my anxiety disorder, I have been so profoundly anxious I have seriously contemplated ending my life. I just don't have the words to describe how horrible this has been and still is. I have lived through a lot, I'm not someone that throws the towel in easily but this unending relentless anxiety, this unremitting feeling of terror and doom......I feel like it is destroying me. Every single day is a battle. I must sound like a whiney idiot. I'm not prone to moaning and I'm not being melodramatic. I feel like I'm clutching at straws most of the time. I just want some respite, even just a few hours of relief. I'm seeing my GP in the morning and as much as I don't want to I may have to ask him to put my dose of Valium back up to 10 mgs. I know that's not going to make much of a difference. I have to hope it will make things a little bit more tolerable. Everyone understands when you talk about physical pain, but it's so much harder to articulate mental torment to someone and help them to see how it wears you down and ruins your quality of life.
I'm sorry this has probably been a bit too grim for an introduction.
I'd just like to hear from anyone who has developed coping strategies or found anything that helps. Any advice or encouragement would be truly appreciated.