I've never posted anything like this before but I am sat here at the point of crisis and despair. I've suffered panic attacks and anxiety for years where I have thought I couldn't breathe and I would die but nothing like this. I don't know exactly what happened or where it started this time but I'm losing control and my mind. I'm so distressed I can't eat I can't sleep I can't relax or think of anything else.
I have had a partial denture now for 8 years and it was replaced 4 years ago. I havent taken the denture out since or been to the dentist or cleaned it properly. Suddenly about 6 weeks ago I don't know why but I became obsessed with my mouth. I took out the denture finally and underneath felt all spongey and weird so of course I googled it and I'm convinced I have oral cancer. My hard palate behind my teeth is wide and feels rough sometimes and smooth sometimes, it is uneven and I feel like it's changing everyday I can't stop feeling it with my tongue. I obsess over my gums, the palate my teeth etc and it's all I think about 24/7. I have bought steradent and now clean my denture every night and sleep with it out. I've bought advanced gum defence toothpaste and mouthwash and brush my teeth three times a day. I'm 100% convinced i have oral cancer and I'm dying. I spend all day every day feeling around the roof of my mouth convinced there are lumps etc and that i can't swallow and I'm going to die. My mouth/jaw feels like it's constantly under pressure and going to collapse and by a night time my gums feel like they are burning. I'm convinced I can't chew when I eat or swallow. I can't sleep or eat for worrying but I'm too scared to go to a dentist because I know they will tell me I'm dying. I can't escape the thoughts and the fear I feel like I'm losing my mind and I don't want to be here anymore. I did have abdominal surgery two weeks ago and had to take the denture out for that and I keep reassuring myself that the anaesthetist would have noticed if something was wrong when he intubated me but would he have even looked???
I can't explain how much this is affecting me. I am going crazy and losing grip on reality I can't go out, read books, watch tv there isn't a second of the day I don't think about it.