Hi, I'm a 21 year old woman who had been suffering with depression and anxiety for a good 10 months or so now. It's all stemmed from my mum leaving my dad unexpectedly and we found out she had been cheating on him with another man. This came as a massive shock as I never thought in a million years that would happen.
Yes it's hurt me a lot but since this time my relationship with my boyfriend of almost 2 years has really suffered. It's like I have this overwhelming fear of being cheated on. I've been treated badly in the past and cheated on before which may play a role, but I'm in a relationship now where I haven't been cheated on but it's like I'm constantly on edge over thinking anything he has said or done. I've even Started obsessing over girls in his past who have nothing to do with me comparing myself making myself feel rubbish and thinking why is he with me when he's been out with girls like that etc. I really do put my self down my self esteem is dreadful
I also have been asking him a lot of questions to do with his past and other girls with I can see now he is getting fed up with.
Also, at the start of our relationship he had these 2 girls try to speak to him and he told me at the time he ignored them both. Well I found a conversation with one of these girls from back then and actually he was saying she was fit and should meet up etc. So obviously that makes me think we'll how do i believe he didn't speak to the other girl then? Baring in mind the girl who I don't know about he had slept with before anyway
How do I let all this go? How do I stop beign bothered about the past and focus on now? I mean our relationship has Come a long way since then and I know he wouldn't do anything like that now so how do I let go of stuff in the past and be happy in the present? I get so anxious thinking about things I can't change or over thinking situations or making up situations in my head that will hurt me. It's like I'm anticipating pain. It's the most prominent thing on my mind every day and I can't carry on living like that. It's like this ocd fear of being cheated on or being hurt and the fear of the Unknown. It makes me so unhappy. How do I move on and enjoy now rather than dwell and get upset over what ifs and overthinking? 😔