What's Going On?

I don't know how to start this post. I'm not sure if what I feel is something I must be worried about. I'm 25 years old from the Philippines. I have a very low self-esteem. I grew up being teased and discriminated because of my weight and I can't get pass that. I am so terrified of going out and meeting new people. Eventhough they really seem nice, I can't get over the fact that they might laugh at me too.

I also feel so empty inside. I'm with my family everyday, but still, there is a part of me that's looking for something I feel is missing. There are times when all I want to do is go somewhere far and be alone or completely disappear. I experience a rollercoaster of emotion most of the time and it's driving me crazy. I am also an NBSB and I think it's also one of the factors that's causing me to feel this way. I see happy couples around me, around the internet and I can't help but wonder why it doesn't happen to me yet. Am I not lovable? Is there something wrong with me? If I would assess myself, I can say that I'm a pretty good person, so why? I am big but I feel like nobody sees me. I can't even say I'm a ghost, coz you can feel ghosts, and me? Nobody feel me.

8 Replies

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  • Have you been dealing with these feelings by yourself or do you have people who understand and support you? I do not know you but I am sure there is nothing wrong with you just because you have not found love yet. Love will come once you can figure out how to love yourself and you can certainly learn! <3

  • Yes, I've been dealing with this by myself because I'm afraid people will think I'm too shallow. I'm glad I've found this online community and I feel like I'm off to a new and better start. Thank you so much!

  • Sorry to hear u feel this way. Your more than lovable and need to know that. God did not create ugly , he looks at u and adores u as u are. If u are able to look up Clayton Jennings on you tube. You need to realise how special you are and you only need to be ur self for God. Just as you are. He can light ur path and u would be amazed at the gap he can fill in ur life. Also check out Joyce Meyer on u tube, she is amazing!! If u honestly knew how much He loves u, it would fill u with so much joy and remove any fears or insecurities about ur past, how do I know? Something was missing in my life but I so found it in Him!! Set free from the past chains that people had put on me...gone! X x he wants u to walk with ur head up, be good to your body and mind. Here if u need a friend x hugs

  • Thank you so so much. Your words has enlightened and inspired me. I think I know what I have to do now. Everything is possible with the Lord and I believe He has a plan for me so much better than I have ever imagined.

  • He has a massive plan for you, he wants you to be full of joy and happiness and you have no idea how much he loves you. Get rid of the lies and get up start your day with him, walk the path he will light for u x x he will give you all the strength , courage and love n security that no one on earth could ever. He wants to truly bless you and if u seek him daily he will carry you through any storms x your a warrior , look at all you have come through, warrior is my word of the month. Every time I feel myself doubting things I say out loud warrior. That's what you are a warrior that has fought battles along the way. Give it all to him now , and wait on the Lord. Don't forget he adores you just the way you are x x

  • Claytin Jennings...what will you do x on u tube x x hoping ur day is going good today. How have u been x

  • I'm here for you. All of us are. I'm a 26 year old male and I've been through the self conscious phase until I discovered my worth as a man. One day I looked in the mirror and realized how attractive I am. Slowly but for surely I began to get my confidence back.

  • Thank you so much for taking the time to encourage me. It means a lot and I really appreciate it. It feels great knowing that I'm not alone.

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