Anger Fear

[mindovermatter03]

So today i called off of work because i was feeling anxious all day yesterday and this morning... I woke up and tried to look on the bright side of things but felt as if i was faking. I greeted my fiance and felt fake emotions of happiness feel fake to me... I was in my room thinking and got so frustrated with my thoughts ( heres the deal i honestly feel as if my thoughts are controlling me they make me feel as if im this horrible person and to hurt someone and your crazy and your not yourself anymore) these make me just want to be all alone and suffer so that i wont do anything to anyone i suffer so much on the inside that no one would no what im going thru.... My thoughts are always scared and thinking that i will get so angry for no reason and hurt someone or turn into an excorcist and just go on a violent rampage... Im scared to get angry because of my thoughts... Im really messed up i know

[Agora1]

Have  you gotten any therapy at all?  This is something that a pill is not going to fix.  I hope you use your day off today in making a plan of what you are willing to do to get better and go on with your life.   Wishing  you well  x

[mindovermatter03 in reply to Agora1]

Yes counseling but these thoughts are still overwhelming... Ive had anxiety before but never on this level and never with these thoughts

[Agora1 in reply to mindovermatter03]

Something is not right even with therapy to continue having these thoughts.  It sounds like they are not addressing what is prompting these thoughts.  Feeling anxiety is one thing but when bad thoughts come into place it is not a safe place to be.  Anything bringing this on?

[mindovermatter03 in reply to Agora1]

Not that i recal.... Ive always had a nice childhood and even when i was in my teens nothing really happened actually it was great but i feel as if my mind runs wild sometimes if its not one thing its the other i first thought i was going to die from a stroke heartattack ex than i was schizo or bipolar and now that im this horrible prson that will probably do something horrible. I know they are intrusive thought and i probably wont do any of those things but they scare me and my mood becomes horrible its like i doubt myself like who i am all the time.

[Agora1 in reply to mindovermatter03]

Hi dear,  yes they are intrusive thoughts, but you need help in dealing with them.  I'm sorry, I can't help.  I wish you well with your therapist and hope she can relieve these fears. Health anxiety is one thing but it sounds like a mood disorder as well.  Please find some professional help.  This is not the way to live your life.  Take care, stay safe.   x