It's back :(

Hi all

A few years ago I went through a horrendous separation after finding the courage to escape an abusive relationship (all except physical). Very long story short, courts decided to split custody of kids down the middle so I live on my own for quite a bit of the time. Before I left I had crippling health anxiety but managed to get some counselling which was very useful. I was convinced I was dying of cancer. Since being on my own it's always been in the background but I've been able to control it. Anyway, last year I met a new man and it's coming up for our one-year anniversary. All is good; I adore him and he does me. Anyway, yes, you've guessed it, I am now worried about the 'risks' that a new relationship can bring. HIV mainly because that's 'the worst,' but also cervical cancer, and pretty much every STI under the sun. I am once again thinking that everything minor is because there is something seriously wrong. For example, I've got a bit of a sore throat at the moment and it's really causing me a lot of worry. I can't help but use Dr Google although I know this is a very silly idea. Please help :( xx

3 Replies

  • Hello

    I can relate to what you are saying , do you think that it can be something that triggers of when you are happy and fearful of maybe loosing that happiness , I know that can be the case with me when these kind of thought patterns happen

    I think your fears will be irrational but to help nip them in the bud I would go and speak with your Doctor , they can reassure you and if you think more Counselling may help they can refer you again as sometimes several sessions of Counselling at different stages can be helpful for some :-)

    Take Care x

  • Hi Bounce

    Thank you so, so much for taking the time to reply; I really appreciate it. I think you are totally right-my boyfriend told me for the first time at the weekend how he truly felt about me, that he loves me so much etc...and although of course I'm so happy he feels like this it also scares me if that makes sense? It's just that I was so badly hurt that I'm worried about leaving myself vulnerable to it potentially happening all over again I guess. I thought I was better but the wounds just won't seem to heal. I want to tell my man so much that I love him too, but again find it so hard to say in case he breaks my heart all over again. Guessing you suffer with anxiety too? Hope things get better for you soon x

  • This sounds familiar to me too. My therapist said I had problem with loss - I too was in a relationship that turned abusive (=loss of what I thought would be a happy future), then I had some others losses in my life too. It has made me anxious about being happy in case something bad happens.

    Counselling/therapy did help me understand that worrying doesn't affect what happens one way or the other. My anxiety is (mostly) controllable now.

    I feel for you, it is so cruel that for some of us the anxiety strikes hardest when things are going well - AFTER we have battled through all the terrible times. Good luck. -worrymagic

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