Health Anxiety sufferers. : I am in no way a... - Anxiety Support

Anxiety Support

47,756 members47,419 posts

Health Anxiety sufferers.

hinhan07
hinhan07

I am in no way a doctor, infact I am a practasing embalmer (fear of death...face it straight on, right?)

I am 23. Since I was around 12 I had health anxiety. I lost everything. Myself...my personal look, my friends, 3 stone in weight....my life pretty much. I became bedridden. Anxiety has this beautiful symptom where you're dizzy most of the time. I had a fear of the dizziness so I decided to stay in bed all the time. I never left my house for 2 years. I lived of steamed vegetables because I was convinced my food (bought from the store) had all been poisoned.

I made many trips to the doctors. (There's nothing doctor's can do when you're batteling your own mind every day) apart from run tests to reassure you. I had an MRI, 4 ECGs, Holter monitor, blood tests, urine tests and and tests. All which came back fine. But did I believe I was fine ? No...I never...because I was still dizzy. I was still getting a horrid drilling sensation in my heart.I was still suffsuffering headaches and brain Zaps. I was still

suffering blurred vision and shoulder aches. So obviously I did not believe I was fine.

I cried all the time

I honestly thought I would end up in hospital...not because I was ill physically...but because I was riddled mentally.

Then one day...I don't know why but I sat up in bed and I thought (I can't live like this any more) which I couldnt. I began to think of suicide. Yes scared to die but not wanting to live or "exist" like this anymore.

The fear of death is worse than death itself.

What was I going to do ? Continue worrying over things I had no control of ? What is the point in that ?

Those years I spent locked away in my room...I will not get them back.

I started makeing an effort to go out there and live my life. I took up biology...I work in a funeral home. Bizzare turn of events aren't they ? To go from fearing to exploring.

All of the symptoms I suffered.

Burning scalp

Head pressure

Unable to breathe

Dizzy (24/7)

Heart that just would not settle, ever

Vomiting

Fever like symptoms

Runny nose

Cold sores

Migranes

Blackouts

Feelings of collapse

Distorted vision

Rashed

When you have anxiety...your brain is a 24 hour radar. Every pain or sensation is intensified because you now have a weakened pain threshold.

When you constantly scan your body...you will eventually find something (something that's harmless) but in your mind it's cancer...or some weird undiscovered virus.

Batteling anxiety is tough....but batteling health anxiety...christ...you're trapped in your own body...the one thing you're afraid of and you can't get out.

Those who are getting up and facing this every day. Take my hat of to you. It's brave. And one day you will get over it. And when you are...nothing will ever scare you again.

Don't mean to lay down my life story here. I just see so want to explain that I had this....and I beat it....if I can...you can.

If anyone wants to ask me anything or are worrying please feel free to message.

Tips on how to deal with health anxiety

Don't google your symptoms...yes it's hard but don't ! Google ain't a doctor at all and if I type in headache (brain tumor will come up)

Drink water and eat healthy

Listen to music

Buy a cat

Meditate

Yoga

Don't listen to other people horror stories "yeah jimmy had what started off as a scratch and the virus just ate away his body and he died"

(People love scaring you with their unrealistic scaremongering stories) Ohhh they love it.

Paint

Make new friends

Repeated pointless trips to the doctor will feed your demons.

Get out and enjoy nature.

And....live your life. Enjoy your life. You were not born to sit and worry about things that are put of your control. What will happen...will happen. Don't spend everyday thinking (what if)

Sorry for my rant....I just had to get that of my chest.

X

16 Replies

I have GAD and health anxiety as well, and have many of the same symptoms you had. I definitely agree that Googling your symptoms is a bad idea. I had been to the cardiologist, gastroenterologist, eye specialist, etc and got a clean bill of health. The one thing that helped me was going on the anxiety forums to look up my symptoms. (Eye pulsing, palpitations, dizziness, feeling faint, etc.) It reassured me that they were anxiety symptoms, not health problems that the doctors missed!

hinhan07
hinhan07 in reply to librarylil

Ohhh love :(

It sounds just like my anxiety nightmare. I was rushed into A&E twice

HELP ME....I'M HAVING A CARDIAC ARREST...it's amazing what anxiety does to the already anxious mind.

You're 100% healthy...and if you had anything wrong...they would find it.

I hope you're doing better now. Hang on in there xxx

I love this!

Thank you :)

Read afew posts about your heart rate and the dreaded flutters.

Those flutters as my cardiologist said are "stress beats" They're not harmful at all. People with high stress and feelings of anxiety get them all the time. Including myself.

Hope you feel better soon. X

Hidden
Hidden in reply to hinhan07

I've had this since August but don't feel stressed or anxious now but maybe I am still a bit! 😕

Brilliant xxx

Hidden
Hidden

Thanks for your post, all very true... I did laugh at buy a cat! 🐱

I'm glad you are so much better now x

hinhan07
hinhan07 in reply to Hidden

Thank you :)

I find that cats are ever so soothing. Whatever you're going through...you're not alone :)

Xx

wow,amazing post,hope i can be as strong as what you have been.Bet you feel brilliant for achieving it :-)

im sure this post will give so many people hope x

hinhan07
hinhan07 in reply to dizzychar

Thank you :)

It takes a long time...but eventually you get there.

I hope this post helps people see that they don't have to be imprisoned in their own body...be free :) xx

Thanks for sharing this my friend, it is truly awesome that you won your battle with anxiety , let's hope all us do too :-)

hinhan07
hinhan07 in reply to SkyShazad

Thank you so much :)

It's an uphill battle. But what I can promise is every one of you will come out the winner, not to mention the strongest. X

Hidden
Hidden

Thank you so much for posting this.

I have health anxiety too. To be honest, I thought it had been knocked on the head when one too many medical examinations landed me in serious trouble. I had an MRI and went red like I'd been badly sun burnt. I developed an intense, painful, deep burning sensation over my body, mainly scalp, face, chest and belly.

I assume I have been burnt by the RF radiation in the machine as my skin is so dry now and I have a kind of dermographism and slight oedema. Then again I wonder if I had a huge reaction to the electromagnetc field as now I find the computer burns me and so does my phone, when it never did before. I just don't know.

Now your post is making me wonder if it is an anxiety reaction. You say 'burning scalp'. I wonder if my body was so weakened from anxiety (weight loss, grey skin, hair falling out etc, oh- and totally relate to thinking I was being poisoned, don't work in a lab if you have anxiety!) and the scan just tipped it over the edge.

I feel like I've lost myself. I remember when my anxiety was at it's worst, thinking 'don;t go mad, if you do you'll never get back'. Then I had the scan, went mad because of the pain and loss of 'life' (had to drop out of uni weeks before finals) and now I can't find me. You have given me hope that there is a light and a way out of this constant turmoil.

hinhan07
hinhan07 in reply to Hidden

How are you doing at the moment ? 💜

Agora1
Agora1 in reply to hinhan07

hinhan07, An amazing, positive post. Some things are a fact of life that we cannot change. Why waste our energy on something we have no control over. Like you, one day I woke up, I mean really woke up to the fact that this has all got to change. I did what works for me and that is facing fear.

After all, "It is What it is....but it will become what you make of it: Stay well.

hinhan07
hinhan07 in reply to Agora1

Thank you my sweet 💓

The worst things in life is that we can't control everything...it overwhelms me.

I read someone had anxiety for over 20 years...I can't let it steal my life away.

There's a book called "Dare" written for those who are trapped in the cycle of anxiety...I would recommend having a read of it.

You may also like...