Horrific Health Anxiety

[Ksmithfield]

Hi All,

It seems like it’s been awhile since I’ve posted, and I definitely need advice. My health anxiety has gotten horrific recently, with any twinge or pain I fear that I’m going to die. The most recent is that I was bitten by a mosquito and now I believe that I will get West Nile or EEE, as those have been in the headlines recently. It’s so odd because I don’t want to complain- as I am very grateful for the life that I currently have. However it’s pretty much a living hell. Every week I think I have a deadly illness or fear that I’m about to develop one, and can’t lead a normal life. I see my peers and often wonder how it is to live a normal life and not worry about dying every two seconds. My birthday is coming up and I wish my life was on a better track. I thought that the years I’ve dealt with this, it would get better by now. Unfortunately it’s gotten so so much worse. I can’t even clean my car without the fear that I’ve ingested chemicals from the cleaner I’m using, or going to the hospital because of terrifying symptoms that I have that I’ve convinced myself is a horrific disease. I was just asking for advice to see if I can do anything to help with my anxiety. I know reassurance doesn’t help ocd, but I don’t know what to do.

[Moon_B]

Hi Rubygold12, I know what you are going through I have emetophobia and my fear is controlling me. I fear I will be in contact with a bacteria that will make me sick by taking the bus or eating in a restaurant or going to the public bathroom, holding a door... but deep down I know it is irrational just like you most likely know it is for you too.

I am having bad anxiety this year so I cannot say it works perfectly but I a, trying different strategies I have learn to cope with my anxiety. For instance when I fear I caught something that will make me sick I ask myself how many time have I thought this was what’s happening but in fact I didn’t get sick. So I use statistics to reassure myself because more than 99% of the time I was in fear I never actually got sick. So I think about the likelihood of the event.

The second thing I do is I assume it is true that I am sick, which is the worst possible scenario. Then I ask myself : what would I do in that case and why is it so bad to me. Finally, I ask myself if I have any power over this, can I prevent the worst from happening? No I cannot, but I can choose how I will react to it (easier said than done I know). After all of this rational breakdown I try my best to let it go. Because it is honestly the only thing we can do, let it be and let it go and if he worst happens, try your best and believe you have the inner strength to deal with it because deep down we do but we fear we won’t.

I know it is hard I am having night where I simply cry from exhaustion. It is draining to live in fear all the time and I feel alienated from it. I can only try to challenge my thoughts and feelings and hopefully overcome this one day. I don’t know anybody who completely got rid of emetophobia but I know all OCD can get more manageable with proper dedication and treatment.

Just like you mentioned reassurance isn’t good for OCD and this is my weakness. I ask for reassurance to my husband all the time and he is losing patience. It is hard on people around us. So we must find strategies to cope better.

I hope it helped you a little,

You are not alone.

[Ksmithfield in reply to Moon_B]

Thank you so much for your reply! I never knew that there was a term for germ specific fear (ocd). It’s crazy how it gets to you and I really wonder how it all starts. Unfortunately so little is known about ocd to the point where we barely know anything at all.

[Moon_B in reply to Ksmithfield]

I believe for your fear of germs in general it is germaphobic or hypochondriac. Emetophobia is similar but it is the phobia of vomiting specifically so it does have a lot in common.

You are right, there are a lot of unknown about the brain and psychology. Most mental disorders are not fully understood and same with OCD. Even when it comes to treatment, mental health professionals can suggest ways to treat but they are never completely certain it will work. There are so many variability from each individuals. Human brain is far from being well understood. It’s fascinating how little we know. Same thing with medication; some medication works for some individuals with OCD such as Zoloft which is FDA approved for treating OCD (I was recommended by my psychiatrist) but it doesn’t work on me, while it works for others. Yet they cannot explain exactly why or how it work.

[dbeck128]

I am so sorry you're going through this. Mine gets this bad as well. One simple shoulder pain and I'm having a heart attack. I can barely function some days it takes control of my every move. Please do not ever hesitate to talk to me if you need to. Because I know how you feel and one day we will figure out how to over come this. Much love

[Ksmithfield in reply to dbeck128]

Thank you so much for your response! For me it seems like some horrific cycle, with intrusive thoughts every second of the day