I've had a very traumatic childhood. watching my parents get arrested 2+ times. seeing them abuse drugs and watching them endanger their lives. It's ruined my life psychologically. Im constantly in fear of something bad happening.
im afraid of dying. so so terrified that i lie awake at night contemplating the "What ifs" and i worry about my health 24/7. Im hypoglycemic and i always am terrified that my blood sugar is low. I have trouble sleeping . my sleep routine is so messed up. 3am-2pm. And I'm just really frustrated and i don't know what to do.
I have an appointment with a psychiatrist on the 19th . and I'm hoping it goes well.
Im just really tired of FEAR and WORRY and ANXIETY. It's become all i am.
I also deal with panic attacks too. Sometimes even going to work is difficult. depression is hard too. due to the fact I'm sleeping oddly and not seeing a lot of daylight or just worrying about my parents. I miss them so much. it's been 2 years.
Im pretty sure my traumatic childhood is the cause to all of this. and I'm believing now that I'm dealing with some Depersonalization too.
I just want to live my life and be happy with the live I've been given. I don't want to spend my life dreading everything and being in fear.