CBT. Good or bad?

So I have suffered from anxiety for the last two months and started CBT. First I came away blaming work, 2nd parents and this week my partner who I upset by saying I wanted to finish with him. It's unearthed a lot of resentment. But I don't know if this is just my current state of mind, I feel so miserable about it. Has anyone else had CBT? Anything similar? Is this just where my mind is at at the moment? I am at home at the moment.. signed off and I don't know if this is me just feeling down and anxiety making me look at all the negatives

4 Replies

  • I am a therapist, and cbt is my chosen field. The idea behind cbt is for you to look at your situation from a different perspective, to take a negative, harmful or destructive thought process and redirect the way you think about it and deal with it. The therapist is there to guide you, not to put thoughts or ideas in your head. Cbt is about how you react to and deal with things in your life. It might be easy sometimes to immediately focus on something that seems to be 'responsible' for your unhappiness. But with behaviours that stem from anxiety disorders, the 'problem' is usually in the interpretation of the things going on in your environment. It may indeed be that your relationships with some people are unhelpful or even destructive, but we should not just grasp at 'solutions' which may not be solutions in the long run. Talk with your therapist about things. You should get some guidance from him/her that suits your situation.

  • That's what I am doing, grasping at solutions. I was told that once I realised what the problems were that the anxiety would disappear. I think I am looking at a quick fix, but it's made me worse, I a more more anxious than what I was before therapy and quite down to be honest. I am waiting on work to get back to me as there are problems there , I am signed off at the mo. Cbt has made me feel quite negative, like everything is my fault.

  • Clearly, the therapy has not yet worked for you. CBT is not there to produce negative feelings and thoughts - quite the opposite in fact. What is supposed to happen is that you use resources and develop mechanisms that produce positive outcomes through seeing your situation in a different way. It is not about blame for yourself or anyone else. Making someone else responsible for your situation is just passing the problem in your head, in reality it will not change how you react to and cope with anxiety. That change has to come from within you. CBT is there to provide a safe space for you to explore your thoughts feelings and responses, and to come up with better solutions for dealing with your anxiety. It may be that, as a separate issue, you have indeed issues with family or partner. But you should be careful not to confuse the two issues. Your anxiety, its roots and manifestations, and how you deal with it, is a whole issue by itself. There is no 'fault' to be found in yourself or other people concerning your anxiety. You might not like how people sometimes respond to you and your anxiety, but those people are not the cause of it. Keep on with cbt, but try to use it in a different way - to help you overcome anxiety.

  • Thank you . I think I expect a quick fix which has lent me to look at all the negatives for the causes. There are many positives of course but anxiety doesn't put you in a good state of mind. She did tell me that my thinking is very black and white and that I have very high expectations. Thanks again.

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