Sorry for this rant but some one got me so mad today that I walked out on her.She does nothing but watch and criticise me.I usually do odd jobs for her each week but her complaining about every thing really got to me today ...I dread going to her most weeks but as she is elderly and has no one else I feel I have to go.My family say she is not my responsibility and she is making me I'll.It takes me hours to calm down each time which isn't fare on my husband who is disabled and needs me more .


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19 Replies

  • If this elderly person is not famíly then you must have reason to keep going, maybe because she has no one? There are support services who do go to the elderly, if she is making you ill and you have your husband to care for you MUST stop going. As you are a carer your family have to come first. If you are concerned that this lady will suffer if you stop going, then phone up the council, please do not torment yourself you need to keep fit and healthy for your husband. Maybe if you explained this to her she would understand, it's difficult to advise without knowing the whole situation which led to you going in the first place. Think of your needs, you are not being selfish but very wise and brave 😊😊😊 xxx

  • Thank you for your reply.She knows about my home situation and isn't interested .My husband and her don't like each other, but he has never stopped me going.She has no family and needs some one to run her around.She has lost her driving licence.She once told me that she would make a bad enemy! Not sure what she was implying. Xxx

  • Rosie she sounds like a selfish old lady who is controlling you to a certain extent. I would pay no attention to her threats, let the council care people deal with her😊😊 xx

  • Thanks, I know you are right.Its about time I made a stand.Its all about emotional blackmail and I've had enough xx

  • Rosie be strong, we are all here for you xxxx

  • Hi.I sent her a message today and told her I can't take it anymore.She is begging me not to leave her.She wants us to talk it over,but I told her things have to change or its all over.Its no good me speaking on the phone because she s quite deaf.I feel in control again now .xx

  • So pleased for you, all you needed was some encouragement well done 👏👏☺️☺️☺️☺️Xxxxx

  • Thanks.I've always stood up for my family but let people walk all over me because I don't like confrontation .I just needed a push this time.Many thanks for your help xxx

  • Keep me posted I am right behind you xx

  • Let you know what happens next week xx

  • Hi Went to see doctor today.She has doubled up my meds and wants to see me again in 3 weeks. She advised either stop going or tell her straight its going to be my rules or not at

  • Hi.I saw her today .Made it clear last night that I would arrive at a certain time and she had to be ready to go shopping.Also that when my time was up I was leaving whether she liked it or not.Guess what ,it actually worked.!!!.I need to keep strong now .xxx

  • I know just where you are over this. Confrontation just makes me crumble into a wuss. I can't deal with it, but then you end up feeling that you are a bit of a doormat for everyone and you end up with a low self esteem. The takers of this world always find the givers (you) but it is time now for you to rise up, take control of this menacing, threatening individual and step aside. Ring S/S or Age UK and hand her over to them. Your own family is really your true responsibility. Knowing the type of person you are, this will not come easily. Good luck and all strength to you! :)

  • Thanks for your comments.I'm actually feeling more in control now. One more incident and I'm gone.

  • Hi Rosie,

    I'm glad things have calmed down a bit for you. It is not easy when you are such a caring individual to do something which so against the grain for you. I hope you do manage to stick to your words and walk. Or rather, I hope you are not presented with a situation which makes you feel like that, but if you do then take the bull by the horns and do what you know deep down is right. YOU are the important one here, to so many other people in your life as well, so do not allow yourself to be dragged down. Once you realise that people get away with taking liberties because WE allow them to - then you will gain the strength to put a stop to it.

    All power to you! In years to come you will look back on all this and wonder how on earth you allowed it to continue. You will also gain in self confidence and not allow similar situations to develop in future. Remember - the takers find the givers so unless you are also gaining something from a situation, then walk away.

  • Hi.I think I've learned my lesson not to be taken advantage of again .I already feel like a weight has been lifted.The worm has turned ,as they say.!!!!!!

  • Hi Rosie,

    Once you've made that decision, you'll find it easier to put into practice. Be kind to yourself! Good luck and happiness to you.! :)

  • Thank you for your support .

  • Hi.Just an update.This week she was a bit snappy again .Not much but just enough to irritate me again.She is still skating on thin ice.I will not let her make me I'll again .

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