Can't drink.

[hunny-bee]

I'm new to this site, and I've never met, or heard of, anybody else who can relate to this.

I'm 18 and for as long as I can remember I've struggled to drink from cups other people have previously used. I can’t even drink from cups in my own home used only by my family.

For years now I have exclusively drank out of my own “special” cups that nobody else in my home are allowed to drink from. If they drink from them, I get irrationally upset and need to buy a new one. The reason for this is that I feel as if the liquid inside the cup has been contaminated by other people’s mouths or saliva.I don’t think about germs or about disease, all I think about is the terrible mouth feel and disgusting taste. No matter if the cup is washed countless times, I can’t drink from it without the experience being the most horrific thing. I could be drinking soft drink or another sort of flavoured drink and the sugars and flavours would be dulled by what feels like the taste of other people’s spit.

Once, a close family friend tried to help me to drink from other cups by showing me how to properly wash them (perhaps she thought my fears were germ related). It gave me a severe panic attack.

Eating food people have touched is completely out of the question, (ever since I was little, it has been this way) but that’s another issue entirely.

I can drink from disposable cups and also brand new cups. When I go out to restaurants, I can drink from straws. When I drink from an ordinary cup that has been used, and I know it has been, my body automatically tries to reject the taste and I feel ill. I have to force it down and my body sometimes shudders or shivers from the experience. It’s sort of like drinking bad tasting medicine. It’s entirely nauseating.

I know it's weird. I don’t think that other people are particularly dirty, and I really don’t like to upset anyone. I don’t know why my body does this.

Does anyone else go through this?