New job anxiety

I've always been an anxious person and a worrier, and with each new job I get it seems to get worse. I recently relocated back to my home town and after a few months off have found a job, and start in a few days. I seem to be fine at at the interview stage but as soon as I am offered the role and have to start I go into major panic mode and start worrying about everything and thinking that I won't be able to do the job. I think there is increased pressure with this job as we are looking to get a mortgage ASAP and I just feel so trapped. I have physical symptoms - bad stomach, racing heart, feel tearful, can't eat much as I feel so sick, and retching. I also woke up at 5am this morning with my mind racing. I'm forcing myself to eat small amounts and taking Kalms but they don't seem to do much. So far I seem to be worse in the morning. My boyfriend is very supportive but I have not told anyone else. I feel like I will never feel ok again at the moment. I am hoping it will feel better after the first few weeks. Does anyone have any advice or tips? I am considering CBT if it does not improve, but I want to stay away from medication. I usually exercise but as I have not been eating I have no energy to do this. Also we are currently living with my boyfriends parents and having to hide all this from them is exhausting! Help!

7 Replies

  • Your feeding the anxiety with your thinking. Great you got a new job and there is no reason you won't do great in it. Am sure there will be new things to learn and new people. Nothing bad can happen. If you don't eat you will get sick and lose weight etc. So if you stop feeding the anxiety.. it will die off. Def get into some yoga on you tube. Tell the anxiety your not letting it take over your life. Kinda like laugh at it and say hey you no way, this is not going to carry on. I am going to my new job and will give it my best shot and your not coming with me. Be good to yourself and practise telling yourself the good things like - won't it be great when we get a chance to move on and how exciting to start a new job and get my fitness back on track. Life is for living and I Know you can do it. Don't feed it...then it dies. Trust me I have been where you are and I had to learn to stop giving it what is wanted .. all my energy and head space. Stay strong and get it kicked up the ass.. tell it its not coming with you anymore x

  • Thanks for replying. Yes you're right it's like I cannot switch my negative thoughts off and it's driving me mad with worry, and the physical symptoms too are pretty limiting. I'm going to try going for a walk, get some fresh air and see if that helps any. I think I just need to get started in the job and realise it's not as bad as maybe I am thinking it will be... I organise events which maybe isn't the best for someone with my disposition, I thought this job would be more admin but it seems not after all x

  • You poor thing, truly I understand. It is very hard starting a new job...been there more than once. Your anxiety is completely normal. The symptoms you are having are so common with the fear associated with a new job. Trust yourself if you can. You were offered the job because you are qualified, they liked something they saw or heard AND you deserve it. Of course you will be nervous but once you start and meet people, learn more about your actual duties etc you will start to calm down. I used to have a "formula" for myself when I started something seemed to take me about 3 months to really start to feel comfortable and feel like I knew what I was doing. At 6 months I would realize the things I still needed to learn and after that ... well, it was just another job. I either really liked it or it was just a job. You will find your own formula. Let your mind be at peace and celebrate that you found a new job! Congratulations!!! And living with others is always difficult. They can be the nicest folks in the world but you don't have the privacy that you need to "just be you." Your life will come "on track" much more quickly than you think. Try to relax and be grateful because you have a NEW JOB and a place to live with people that care about you. Be well...

  • Thanks so much! It's good to know I am not the only one who feels this way, just reading the responses is helping somewhat. I really like your idea of the formula, I will try and tell myself to at least give it a try for that long and see how I feel then. It's slightly complicated by the fact it is a school and my younger siblings go there, worried irrationally they will see me fail. Xx

  • Fear of failure is very common. None of us like to feel that we can't do something or that we don't have enough "control" ... my guess is that you are going to be fine. It seems to me that those that fail the most often have huge egos ... and you certainly don't reflect that. Take hope and joy in the fact that your siblings will see you SUCCEED. Yes, succeed. I worked in a school a long time ago - and it was one of the greatest jobs I ever had in my life. If the school had not closed I would still be there today. I don't know you but I am excited for you....keep posting your fears and anxieties. It will help you release all that tension. The people that are on this site all understand and that is such a great gift.

  • Hey congratulations on your new job!You must be more than capable of doing it or else you wouldn't have got it! My son is at uni but got a placement for a year (he did really well it being with a high profile company) Well for the week before he started lots of doubts set in,ie could he do the job what if he got sacked it went on and on!Even though he doesn't suffer with anxiety like me he is a worrier! Anyhow six months on he loves the job,people he works with are great and he got an A for his appraisal! Just go in be yourself,and if need be just say you feel nervous!

    It can't be easy not having your own space,we all need our own little nests,where if we do feel down we can have our own comfort zone!However don't put added pressure on yourself about getting a mortgage,your health and wellbeing come first.

    Get some Rescue Remedy just a couple of drops on your tounge can calm you down,I use it quite a bit coz like you not on any meds!

    Good luck in your new job,Let me know how it goes!


  • Thanks Kath, it's good to know it's not just me. I've been trying to keep myself occupied by seeing friends and family and going to the gym this weekend and it seems to have helped a little. Although mornings seem to feel the most hopeless, the rest of the day picks up a little. Glad your son is doing so well! Sometimes I think the people that are the most anxious make the best workers as they are conscientious and think of every last detail. I will definitely try the rescue remedy too. xx

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