My daughter is 9 going on 18. She had the most awful mood swings and strops and speaks to me like absolute shit. Next moment she is crying saying she is sorry. I am at my wits end, she can't walk past me without barging into me all sitting at the table and constantly tapping male kicking me with her for she doesn't realise that she's doing it, she just does it when I say to help please can you stop doing that he just turns around and looks at me as if to say for God sake mum fuck off. She has this wonderful way of looking at me and then looking away as if I am a total piece of crap to her. Last night I nearly went for her and it breaks my heart to even contemplate losing my rag but I know it's coming I can't control It The more I fighting the more I get so wound up because she constantly back chatting she constantly winds me up she tells me that she doesn't care she doesn't love me care for me and wants to live with her dad She couldn't care less and I just broke down last night I broke down crying and crying and crying and she comes and looks at me almost 2 to think that she has won she has done it she is now pleased with herself that she's made her mum cry. I need help and I don't know where to go or who to ask for it Friends I've got very good friends that they have their own issues I need some professional help and I don't know where to go
She has been taken to the doctor I've taken to the doctor previously and to no avail she behaves like an angel in front of anybody else but to me she is an absolute Demon. I find myself reacting with drinking alcohol its the first thing I think of either that or self harm I just want to lose myself in the world of drunkness I don't have alcohol in the house and I just feel like a very bad mum because I don't know how to cope with my beautiful daughter. I have hardly slept all night.