Just Miserable ...

[lvl57]

Hi, just joined today and all I can think to say is that I'm miserable and that Ive been miserable for so long I cant really remember being happy. Worst part is, I have so much to be grateful for, no real money worries, nice home and yet, Ive managed to lose contact with one of my daughters (not helped by a really bad divorce a long time ago) and now, I'm struggling to maintain a relationship with my other daughter, I sit and think about 'why' a lot and Ive come to the conclusion that I dont like myself very much and so its difficult to like anyone else. Anyone with a magic pill to help me understand this - please share

[Hidden]

Your situation is as dire as you believe it to be. Sounds like the not liking yourself stems from a low self esteem, if you don't mind me saying. But there are things you can do to raise it. Start noticing how you speak to yourself. Then change it. Amend it into a positive. Take the worst case scenario, and find ONE positive from it. I have done these exercises and they do really help make you feel more in control, because you have complete authority over what you think which affects how you feel and how you feel only reinforces how you think.

[WorriedWell]

I can see where this would cause anxiety and depressive feelings. Family is the most important aspect of life - without them it is hard to enjoy even the greatest facets of life. I guess the simplest fix for your issues or the magic pill is to try and bring your family together. If this is not possible and you truly need help coping with this fact then ask your doctor about SSRI regiments as they are really helpful in accomplishing this. This may even help improve your own image of your self worth and help with your family relationships. As to the question of WHY - well no one can answer that. I suffer with anxiety EVERY day and I ask the same question over and over again. All you can do is push through and by doing so - by not giving up - happiness will find you! Anyways I hope you feel better soon

[689908]

I didn't realise that I have low self esteem until recently. I was in a relationship with someone who would be lovely to me for days on end, then destroy me over the smallest thing.

I am trying to move forward as positively as I can. I am writing, journaling, learning to look at my positives and that I am a caring person.

It is slow and I am getting there but we can do this together so if you want to tell us more then please do. A problem shared a problem halved. Keep sharing keep halving. At some point there may not be a problem!

[lvl57]

Thanks to each of you that have taken the time and effort to reply. Yesterday, as well as joining this group, I was feeling so low, I decided to try and find some sort of counseling service, I was lucky enough to find a 'live' on-line service, it was quite helpful, if nothing else, they've helped me to find a counseling service close to where I live and although I wont be able to get an appt until early in the New Year, I think I'm going to give it a go - guess there's nothing to lose, I'm not sure how easy it will be to sort my head out, I'm even less sure that I'm capable of changing. My focus right now is just going to be trying to get through xmas, I'm dreading it, you see all the 'happy family' adverts and TV programmes and you want it to be like this and over the years I have tried so hard to achieve it but it never quite works out, quite honestly, right now I could walk out the door and just never come back - guess I need some practice in looking for the positives.

[689908]

How are you feeling now?

Please let us know as sharing the problems further should help.

I agree about Xmas. It's a very trying time for anyone but for people alone it is worse. I will not be alone but I will be away from the one person I want to be with and that is scary especially when I don't know if that person is even good for me.