Holidays are coming and...

[samiaml]

Is there anybody else out there that can't help but wish they were their old self? Now that Christmas is just around the corner I can't help but wish I was the girl I was last yr at this time.. I sit here n feel bad for myself thinking why can't I just be the happy go lucky girl I was just 8 mos ago. . I get mad at myself for letting my grandmas death start all of this anxiety mess. There's a part of me that wonders if ill ever be that girl again... that ill never be 100% me. I never knew that loosing a close loved one would cause me all these physical symptoms .. still 8 mos later.. Granted I'm so much better.. but anything less then 100% me.. just isn't enough.

[Pat9]

I have found in life after huge changes and upsets we move on, we do not go back to who we were ever as we get stronger and learn and then move on a different person so we do not stay the same all our lives we evolve.. you will find you one day find yourself strong again and yet different to who you were.. that is life it is changing all the time.. with me in old age I sometimes wish I could be who I was before the arthritis etc kicked in but all the wishing won't change this so I have accepted who I am now and what I have to face and it helps me good luck and stay strong xx

[samiaml in reply to Pat9]

Well hello Pat. . U are so right.. I am so much stronger for going through all of this. I also have a changed mindset on everything ... I no longer take life for granted. .. I think before I assume .. because I've now walked in the shoes of the sick I can now relate and do anything to help. And your right ... I am who I am now.. I can't wish it away (as much as I've tried ;-)) thank u for the helpful words.. I really appreciate that

[samiaml]

Wow. .. thank u. .. that really opened my eyes .. your right... we are always changing... some days its just hard to except I have "problems "... but I need to start to realize that this is me. .. for now.. . Oh and whenever I think of my nanny I will think of the quote u said. . Love it ... thank u for the kind words!

[Pat9]

your welcome.. Old age does reap it's rewards it teaches you things Take care now xx

[Hidden]

I try to stay positive and truly believe I will be back to myself. When? Dunno. But at some point, I will be. It takes the right mindset and the right amount of effort to push through. You did nothing wrong and should not blame yourself for getting anxiety. It hits everyone at some point, and I hear, those that often get it are those who are very creative.

Try changing your thoughts. I often replace if with when. "When I get over this, I will be able to help so many people. I will write a book."

"When I get over my fear, I am going to eat everything in this house and not be afraid."

Often we get wrapped up in self pity, fear, the torturous what if scenarios our brains create in the dozens. For us, impossible is just not in a what if. Anything can happen there and that is what does us the most damage.

Our own way of thought.

[JustBeingMe]

I've said those EXACT words, will I ever be me again, I miss me. But deep down I know I never will be and I'm ok with that, having suffered from anxiety I see things so different your cherish more accept more. If anything I'm better for that. I may not be 100% still but I've had great therapy CBT and my own willing determination has got me to where I'm ok .. And so will you be. Glad you changed your mind step, with this you can go so far keep smiling and your head up, it will be ok. This is just a journey we are on! It's ok to grieve too there's no time limit on how long that lasts. If you have not tried CBT do try it Hun. Best of luck and best wishes from me to you. Ps: talking about how you feel and being open works wonders