My Life is Torn Apart

Is there anyone that feels just as I do? In a nutshell in the last eight years I have been in an abusive relationship which I made the decision to end. This has left me in £ 15000 in debt, very low and have been on Citalopram 40 mg which has helped immensely. Everything in my life never seems to go right three years I had RTA on my push bike and couldn't walk for 6 months. My partner then always found me a job where he was working every moment of my time was with him. I moved back to where I was brought up and found a job which I enjoyed as it this was my job and on my own merits. This time last year things became unbearable with him. He said that my job was making me a changed person and I should leave . Between the debt which was all in my name as he was bankrupt I just could not cope any more. I also, haven't mentioned finding cocaine in his pocket and at one stage he kicked the door in blaming me that he did not have a key and was very abusive to me. I eventually go the strength from somewhere to tell him to go. He left and it was a relief even though in debt and being such a state not remembering what I was doing from one moment to the next. My GP was very understanding and arranged for me to go counselling, which I found very helpful in discovering that he was at fault! My GP signed me on the sick the first part of this year then I broke my wrist and had shingles afterwards. The final straw was he then informed me that he was gay and had to go and get myself checked out for my own sanity - which came back all negative! He then said it was all a joke...... I have no friends, overweight, do not want to go out , jobless, drink more than I should and feel empty.

3 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hi ,

    What he did it was not right . You can not treat human being like this . I feel for you but this is just bad patch in you life and you can change it but only you . Get help ! You made the first move to leave him . You still have time to sort you life out and is never too late. I am not going to lay that I know what you are going through because I don't. you will look back in few years time at this and this is going to be only a very bad memory for you . Stay strong .

  • This guy sounds like a moron. Put him and the relationship well behind you. If you're 15k or above in debt you can come to an arrangement. Find an independent adviser (start at Citizens Advice who will forward you on a reputable one) and start rebuilding your credit back again with something affordable. If you feel a little overweight, start out easy and just do a 15 min walk a day, get out for some air. What stopped me feeling like such a loser was realising that one particular person had made me feel that way by her psychosis which consequently impacted on my next failed relationship. Now isn't the time for you to get into anything new, but get back to your best self before the 8 years. And drink only provides a temporary high after which you feel shit and more loserly for having that fake high.

  • please start to look after yourself, cook what you eat ,drink water and juice, excercise !

You may also like...