Anxiety is ruining my life. It completely revolves around my constant worry of a panic attack.

[brokenbird]

I am ALWAYS on the verge of an anxiety/panic attack. It's always there in the back of my mind waiting to rage. I have to actively keep the panic back and im exhausted. I tell myself, don't eat that it have you an anxiety attack last time. Don't drink that tea, it says decafe but maybe its not and you'll have an attack. What's that sensation? Heat palpitations, must be dying now..disorientation all the time, pacing in circles trying to get a grip on my intrusive thoughts, thinking I'm going mad. I'm convinced out will be the death of me. And it's coming soon, I can just feel it. It is completely impossible to distract myself from this feeling, I can't go in public anymore too afraid I'll go crazynin public and not be able to control myself.. I dint want to be alone for fear I'll need help and not get it.. I could write forever on how horrible it has made my life become.

[Hidden]

HI Broken x Sorry for the late reply we sometimes miss one post but someone will answer eventually xx

Just to say I can completely understand this fear of well fear is,nt it x We have that first panic attack and dislike it so much we become frightened of it happening again x We start to notice things in our bodies we did,nt before, rumblings, headaches etc and then before you know it we are in such high alert we are fearful for the panic coming and feel we cannot control it, fear=fear you think it and it will happen x But remember anxiety cannot harm you, even though you think it will, as it feels so terrible, it cannot now and it never will harm you x Its a pattern you force yourself into, dont so this as you will panic dont do that but you must face the fear to prove to yourself that it will not harm you x Tell the panic to go away you have not got the time for it, and change the thought in your head when the bad ones come x Heart palps can be a hard one to deal with but again they are normal, but you must always get checked out by gp even to be told this x Try to keep calm, I have anxiety and Ive been suffering 2 year, I gave up and stayed in 2 years of staying in the house like a prisoner is not nice x BUt I am learning to over come the thoughts and feelings by ignoring them and telling them they wont win x I used to fear being on my own and now I spend most says alone x It will change x Are you having therpay ? If not go speak to your gp about it, it could be what you need x Donver xx

[brokenbird in reply to Hidden]

I Ann not going to therapy as of right now, but I have an assortment with my gp on Monday and will definitely discuss it with him.I think it's definitely worth trying. I don't want to go the medicated route and just cover the problem I really want more testing done, checking hormones and such.. I've done a lot of research and underline medical problems occur often enough for me to think it's a valid thing to look into before doping up on pills.

[leveller]

Hi, I got myself into a similar state last year. I'm not sure what started it off being worse than usual, but I think it was linked to my abusive former boss at work being sacked (on one hand, hoorah! on the other hand I had to deal with everything I'd squashed down for the years when they were still around). Anyhow I got to the point where I worried about everything (including worrying about worrying!).

I eventually went to my GP and asked for a health check (to make sure I wasn't ill with anything physical). This was all fine and then I asked to be referred for therapy. I had to wait 5 months (which was hell) but it was worth the wait. I got a therapist who I really clicked with and she did mostly CBT with me. It was very gentle, but it allowed me to challenge the way I was thinking about things. I fully agree with what Donver says. You need to keep pushing yourself, not get too hung up on all the things it could be causing it as mostly it's in your head (for me at least). remind yourself you can do it. When you have a panic attack the feelings are horrible but .....they don't actually do anything to you. It's taken me a while to remind myself (as I feel the panic rise) that it's okay, accept it, it won't do anything and actually once you can do that it it goes away much more quickly, then you don't have to "keep it at bay" because it's okay if it comes and then it will go.

I don't think I could have done it by myself as sometimes (despite lots of past therapy) we just get to a place that we need help to get out of.

Good luck seeing your GP, insist on being put on the therapy list and I managed to do it all without drugs (I kept them as a last resort and never got to that final point). I still have bad days but they are less and I feel calm a lot more of the time. I'm sure you can get there too

Leveller.