Struggling to cope

This is the first time I've done this but I'm quite desperate for advice on what to do. The other night I had a panic attack which was the first time it's happened to me. I've struggled for many years with hypochondria, and general anxiety but it's generally always been manageable. I feel like at the moment I'm out of control though. I worry about everything, and fear the worst from every situation (or imagined situations). I swing from being ok and stable one minute, to crying or trying to stop myself panicking in the next. I get angry so easily with my partner and can barely control it. He is always been patient with me, but this is slowly waning, and I know he doesn't want to have to deal with this stuff on a daily basis anymore but I just need a lot of his help and support at the moment. I feel like he's pulling back but I don't know how to stop feeling like this. I've started seeing a counsellor which has been helpful. She told me to try and step outside of myself when I start to panic or get angry and look at what's happening in a detached way, to figure out how to deal with it. I just don't seem to be able to do this yet. I'm trying really hard because I don't want to feel like this, and I don't want to wear my partner down. I keep reading about what to do for anxiety but I'm just really scared all the time. I've had a lot of changes in my life over the last year and I've never dealt particularly well with change. If anyone has any advice I'd appreciate it so much.

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11 Replies

  • Hi Jess,sorry to hear your going through such a bad time.Anxiety is horrible,and affects us all in different ways.I have health anxiety like yourself,so I understand the fear,constant worry and bring scared,Everyone finds different ways of dealing with it,from medication to exercise.I do deep breathing which I learnt from 2 apps I downloaded called Headspace and Mindfulness,I knit and play games on the iPad,I also go for walks.

    Your therapy does take time but keep going with it and I'm sure you'll get there.

    Hope this has been some help,and remember your not alone xxx

  • Thank you for replying, I feel quite overwhelmed at the moment and appreciate any advice I can get. I find walking and exercise really do help (and yet I rarely do it) and my mum keeps telling me I should try meditation and deep breathing. I will download the apps you suggested. Thanks again for taking the time to reply. I hope you're doing well :)

  • No problem,glad I could help.Ive been good for a few weeks until Tuesday,then it hit me again,managed to get thru and was ok yesterday,and today it's here we go again,feeling sick,heaviness in chest,and shaking all over.Trying to keep my mind occupied and I know I will get thru this.Take care xxxx

  • I'm so sorry to hear that you've been feeling so unwell. I really appreciate that when you're feeling so bad you still take the time to help other people. That's really remarkable. I hope you start to feel ok again soon :)

  • No problems Jess,we all try to help each other on here.Going through the posts and replying is actually helpful,it takes your mind of your own problems.Members of this site are really friendly and caring.You can get good tips for helping you to cope.Keep checking in and I'm sure you'll enjoy being a member.Love Anne xxx

  • Thanks Anne, I'll definitely be using this site in the future. Your kindness as well just being able to talk about how I'm feeling has helped so much tonight (I'm in Australia). I've already downloaded the apps and will be trying them out tomorrow. Definitely need to learn how to breathe deeper and relax.

  • I'm in the UK,because members are all over the world,sometimes you have to wait for a reply,but someone will always reply to you.Let me know how you get on.

    The headspace site is free for 10 days then you have the option to go on for a small fee.Mindful is free xxx

  • Hi Anne, I've woken up feeling a lot better already just for having reached out. I also talked to my partner last night and he was very understanding. Trying to stay positive today. I hope you have a lovely day/night xo

  • So glad to hear that,It's amazing how much more positive you can feel by knowing your not alone.Good days make the bad days just bearable,and although it doesn't feel like it at the time you do get through

  • Hi:)

    I'm sorry you're feeling low.

    Headspace and are both very good websites and will help.

    Have you thought about CBT, this does help you to look at things differently and is especially good for anxiety.

    As for your partner, there are some good web sites for partners.

    Hope that helps x

  • Thanks so much for replying yummimummi. I am currently seeking a counsellor and I think she's using CBT but I'm not sure. I've only had one session with her, and she seems good but I've had quite a difficult time since seeing her and I'm trying I figure out how I can calm down in between visits. Do you have any recommendations for what websites might be useful for my partner? I can see how hard it is to understand when he can't see anything perceivable wrong but I'm still getting upset.

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