Is there anyone online

[shadow45]

Hi I am in a bad way again I need to talk with someone...

[Evey37]

Hi shadow not feeling any better?

[shadow45 in reply to Evey37]

After that weekend I am at a very low point now I am off to see my gp right now I have never felt this out of control of my life

[Evey37 in reply to shadow45]

Hope seeing your gp will ease your mind a little but I'm always checking in on here if you need to chat

[shadow45 in reply to Evey37]

Bless your heart evey

[Evey37 in reply to shadow45]

We all go through tough times with this rubbish illness and sometimes helps talking to others that have been through the same thing keep your chin up

[Hidden]

Hi what's going on?

I'm sorry you are not doing well

[shadow45 in reply to Hidden]

Had the most horrendous weekend.... I was at the hospital twice with panic attacks which lead to a recommendation for a out patient clinic for men with suicidal thoughts.... But when I got there I didn't understand that I couldn't leave.... which was not anything could handle.... Being cooped up like in prison with 6 others other men who all have mental health issues.. but worse than myself... some of them had been there for weeks ..... I had a very bad weekend with over the top stress and panic attacks.... The EM doctor I spoke with scared the carp out of me by telling me the meds I was taking were the very worst thing I could be doing.... So that conversation sent me into suicidal thoughts... and when he asked me if i was suicidal I had to say that at that very moment I was... so the clinic was set up for me as a safe place..... But as I said it was his opinion on how I should handle my anxiety without meds that sent me into that state of mind.... I have tried to end it twice before.... so I have to be honest with the Doctors and tell them the truth...

[Hidden in reply to shadow45]

Anxiety can ruin lives and when you have so much on your hands I think it's understandable why you would have suicidal thoughts. I know how you feel, and it's great that you were honest and told the doc that. I did the same thing I told my doctor I was afraid to admit it because I was afraid they would of taken my babies away thankfully she said it's a norm and had me put on anti depressants.

Every doctor has their own opinion, always get second third opinions, because like you said it would not have been wise to go in a room with other men in the same state, or worse state of mind.

Hopefully right now with your GP you'll get a lil peace.

Hugs,

yaz

[Hidden]

hello Steve,

Hope you get on okay at your G/P let us know how you get on.

Gardener x

[Hidden]

Hi Steve.

I saw your post the weekend I'm so sorry your feeling this way as gardener says let us know how you get on. Lots of hugs. Xxx

[Mysteryreader]

hi Steve,

So sorry your in a bad way. Did you manage to see your gp and were they any use? will a walk help? You mentioned you went on one yesterday As you walk try and concentrate on what you can.hear see and smell. So that you are in the 'now' and trying to shut out the physical symptoms and perhaps the negative feelings. When you return from your walk try and write down all the things you heard,saw and smelt or draw if that is easier something from your walk. Is it still sunny where you are? Perhaps take a camera if you have one with you and photograph key points of your walk. These are just suggestions because they have helped. They help to refocus you pain and hopefully some of the physical symptoms which I think you mentioned. As you yourself have said before it is a vicious circle where the mind feeds the body then the body feeds the mind and so on.

Hugs

MR

[mimii]

Hi Steve, don't know if this will be any use , when my daughter's feeling low she goes for a walk, she's done that this afternoon then came back and had a shower she also finds painting very therapeutic, shes doing that right now, took her paints and paper out in the garden , also find eating regularly even just a little but often can help, but sometimes when she's really finding it hard she has an olanzapine which calms her down xx

[bepete]

Hey steve .

keep to it man , youll get through.

Any signs of your cat yet ?.

[shadow45]

Thank you all so very much... I do love each and everyone of you...... I did get my new scrip for Xanax.. and I have to say those pills really do make one massive difference..I only need .05 mg`s so they are very effective... I have been lazy with my daily routine ...as I have isolated myself a little too much I don't really have a lot of friends here.. Before I started down this road about 4 months ago I did my daily rounds of restaurants and pubs just to hang out with the regulars... I don't drink but I would have a tea and some lunch etc.. And just shoot the sh*t ..as they say here.... It was enough contact with acquaintances to get me by and Hockey is the big sport here in Canada so the playoffs are looming... so there will be lots of opportunity to get out and join in the game watching... I will be getting back to work on the 23rd so that will take care of that situation. I used to have a problem with pills but now I am sold on this Xanax.... So if I have to take them for a while I am pleased they work so well. I did have a big lunch today as my appetite comes back with the loss of the anxiety. I just want to say how much I appreciate all of your compassion Finding this site and all of you has made so much difference to me in this struggle. I really could not have done it without your support... Bless each and everyone of you... Much LOve steve

[Hidden]

hi steve, am so pleased for you, those meds really work for you, you really are a lovely person, you deserve to have happiness in your life as do all of us, yes this site is full of special people who do care & really want to help. I hope you meet lots of new friends just as you have on here, my very best wishes to you for the future love jasper xx

[shadow45 in reply to Hidden]

We really do lose who we are when this life long problem comes undone... I know I have been like this from a very young age .....So we do try through our lives to live in a way that the hidden menace stays hidden.....Say`s a lot about early detection of mental health in young people.... This site is a prime example of the epidemic that depression and mental health problems have become over the past 30 years. thank you for your very kind words jasper..... much love steve

[Evey37]

How did the drs go ?

[shadow45 in reply to Evey37]

It went as I had hoped and I did get the Xanax To be truthful I am so uncomfortable now with the level of my (exposure) in this small town I live in... I mean many trips to the hospital in a state of panic... entering that crazy out patient clinic. . So yes I am ok.... but feeling a little shattered by the whole meltdown.... embarrassing and demeaning at times for me... But its the truth no fake emotions there... all raw and from deep deep down.. Much love steve .

[Evey37 in reply to shadow45]

Hi Steve.. Oh Canada I'm uk. I'm lucky in one way as I've always refused meds the gp wants to give me to fight this battle. I live in a biggish town but know what you mean I'm sure my gp thinks I'm nuts. Glad you got the meds and you feel better. Gonna be one of those days here it's almost 3am and I'm wide awake eek if you feel you want to chat we all here take care

[Hidden in reply to shadow45]

Hi Steve

I'm so glad you got your medication. Did you run out of them, I'm always doing that what are we like. You take care Steve lots of hugs janet xx

[shadow45 in reply to Hidden]

Hi janet yes I did run out... Will not be doing that again.. Having a bit of an odd morning as I think I may be still recovering from all the stress of the weekend . Just not as calm as I`d like to be ...But feeling no anxiety.. cheers steve

[belcherbob12]

steve ive said it a lot on here,but if your having caffeine,its the worst thing for panic attacks,cut that stuff out mate,,also ive been where you are,which ended up with me in a psyciatric ward for 10 weeks,,like you i was scared of the other patients,some bad cases in there that haunt me to this day,,however i got through it,and now live a relative normal life,have one tablet a day of anafranil anti depressant and no caffeine :O) and my panic attacks have gone from 5 a day to once every two weeks ,,,mate you will come out of this ,,i did after 30 years of suffering,so please try to calm down,,everything will be ok,i promise :O)

[shadow45 in reply to belcherbob12]

Hi bb. No I don't drink coffee and usually herbal teas I don't drink booze at all either. I am happy to hear you have your issues under control You did suffer through a very long time with it I am back in therapy and am looking into CBT therapy as well..best of the day steve