Is it my OCD or do I just actually really want that?

Idk if anyone really knows what OCD really is but it's just not cleaning it's more than that. I'm having trouble with my OCD I have thoughts that won't go away. I think to myself, "do I really want this? What if it's not my OCD?" That goes through my head all day. I can't escape that. I can't escape my kind. I just want to be free. I just want to be free from my own mind. Why can't I have one day without my mind attacking me? Putting me down and making feel things and make me believe things are true but they are not. Has anyone on here with OCD have that feeling that what if the thoughts I'm thinking is something I really want?


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