Not sure if it is OCD...I am terrified.

[ttonev]

Hello to everyone, I am new to this forum,

So It all started 2 months ago, I was on my computer and was scrolling my Facebook timeline...suddently The news about Chester from Linking Park popped up, and I had an anxiety atack, since then i have intrusive thoughts about self-harm.... so i was terrified and started googling the results were "major depression". I became even more terrified. I am so scared. Also i started having thoughts that life is pointless and so on....I really don't want to think that way. Also there is a dark feeling that makes it seems real. I went to my psychologist and I shared with him the whole story. He said that i won't finish like Chester and there was a temporary relief, also we spoke about nihilism and he said "nihilism people say that they don't want kids on this terrible world" so of course that stucked into my head and feels real accompanied by a dark feeling again. Thoughts like it will be easier to.....i don't even want to say that word. I don't have history of depression, but I do have history of OCD episodes(drug related). Also I can't stop googling since then(I think this is an ocd symptom, but again I am not completely sure.) Also there isn't history of depression in my family. I am afraid that I am depressed and will never be my old self again.

I don't have the typical symptoms of depression like low self-esteem, I don't feel worthless and so on, but i do have tiredness and lack of apetite and seems like my emotions are less. I aslo have trichotillomania but I am glad that i don't touch my hair.

I also cut the alcohol because I am scared that i will lose control and eventually...you know.

So do you think it is Pure-O OCD?

Sorry for the long post.

[Hidden]

Basically Facebook and Google give you panic and paranoia. Keep off the interweb !!.

[Shelley24]

Your not alone! I to suffer with such thoughts they are intrusive thoughts and therapy should help I start Thursday and on meds mine 2 started 2 months ago also what I find that helps is don't react to the thoughts allow them to come and go like you would any other thought that's what the doctor told me and it has helped, some days are better than others but your not alone! I hope you get relief soon x

[ttonev in reply to Shelley24]

Do they feel real for you?

[Shelley24 in reply to ttonev]

Yes very

[Hidden in reply to Shelley24]

What are your thoughts about ?

[Shelley24 in reply to Hidden]

Who’s?

[Hidden in reply to Shelley24]

Yours, what are your intrusive thoughts about.

[Shelley24 in reply to Hidden]

Harm towards myself and others and just generally worrying about anything

[Hidden in reply to Shelley24]

Something along the lines of, I'm gonna stab my brother because he pisses me off and I'm gonna stick that knife in my arm ?

[Shelley24 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah like that

[Hidden in reply to Shelley24]

They're just thoughts of a person who is pissed off with that person and themselves. It isn't intrusive it's natural really. I bet in real life your a very timid and gentle person and wouldn't think about acting them out, that is until they're aren't looking and they get a good smack...lol

I wouldn't worry about them at all.

[Shelley24 in reply to Hidden]

It’s mostly when I’m anxious or stressed or tiered when they started I got so scared I was turning into a mad person but Doctors and mental health team said it’s intrusive thoughts and yeah I am that’s why they scare me as that ain’t normally like me at all I’m calm and caring and yeah that’s what I’ve been doing just letting them pass through and that does really help they have slowed right down but sometimes I get stuck thinking about them trying to find out why I would think like it ect but I do start therapy Thursday x

[Hidden in reply to Shelley24]

I have thoughts like that all the time. I don't worry about them at all, some deserve it. Plenty of people get stressed out when they get panicked and would kill if need be, but you never do though do you !!.

Maybe a release from all the pent up frustration is what you need. Maybe karate or a punch bag. Get some relief.

[Shelley24 in reply to Hidden]

No I definitely would never act out on my thoughts at all and yeah could be might have to look into it

[ttonev]

Also in less than a week i have to leave my city and go to university....I am so worried that during the constant stress i will lose control, I get anxious even when i only think about it..

[Shelley24 in reply to ttonev]

It’s the anxiety making you think that

[Cruncher]

Hey! you are going 10000 miles per minute! I have OCD too and the best thing to do is to stop and snap yourself out of the steady stream of worries. Instead of a bunch of things fluttering around your mind at once, try isolating them more and tackle one at a time. It makes the issues at hand seem less daunting.

It is very common for us OCD sufferers to have worries of being sick in one way or another. I have worried about things like that, and then it turned out to be nothing (thankfully!)

Plus if you did have depression, which I also have suffered, it is totally able to be coped with. Can be difficult, but can be managed and helped.

Just wait a month and see where you are. Maybe you have depression, but OCD is definitely amping you up in ways that are not applicable (in my opinion) at this current stage you are in. OCD likes to trick you too that everything is a symptom of the illness you fear. Just remember that, it attacks everything and makes everything appear to be terrifying.

[ttonev in reply to Cruncher]

Thank you. <3