My Super Doctor

[Sundayschild10]

My super Doctor has arranged for me to see my Consultant on 30th October so I can talk through the sexual abuse that happened a few years ago but still feel very ashamed to tell him. My Husband is being very supportive but he works all day and I cannot work due to illhealth. There I have said it now.

[jules2105]

We'll done for opening up on here and going to see your gp for support. I can't imagine how you feel but I'm sure other on here can offer support. Please don't feel ashamed, this is not your fault. I hope your appt goes ok on 30th, I usually write myself some notes for these types of appts incase I struggle to get my words out.

Jules x

[Sundayschild10 in reply to jules2105]

Thank you so much. The first experience was with my last Husband but the second was my Brother-in-Law and I just could not tell my Sister. It happened over 8 awful days whilst my sister was in Hospital having her second baby and my Daughter then aged 10 saw it all happen and I dread seeing him although he lives 100 miles away. .

[butterflykiss]

Congratulations on taking your first step in going to get help with the sexual abuse you suffered. This will be very hard at the start for you to get the words out but when you are able to get that first one out it will feel like taking a very deep breath after holding you breath for those years. How long it takes doesnt matter there is no fixed time for getting over the abuse and the feeling that you have because of it. Many people suffer in silence for years and the only thing they are doing is destroying them self and not the person who did that vile action. I have been abused myself and when i told my mother what was going on she laughed in my face.I still remember that to this very day and to be honest i don't no what hurt the most. I kept quiet for years and slowly was destroying myself with drink and self medicating and believe me that is not the answer. You are a very brave woman to have spoke up and now get the help you need to enjoy the rest of your life. I was so happy to see that your husband is being very supportive as this will give you the strength to push on. You are entitled to a happy life with your family and friends and i wish you so much love and respect right now for doing what your doing...

Please keep in touch and let us see how well your doing

So proud of you...xxx

[Sundayschild10 in reply to butterflykiss]

I told my Mother and all she said was "don't be so silly he is happily married to your Sister it is all in your head". She was not a very sympathetic Mother and when my first baby died she said "you are too young to be a Mother and I am to young to be a Granny" and nothing more was said.

My Brother-in-law knows that my Husband knows and tries to avoid him when he comes to our Town to watch rugby. My Husband is not a violent man and I always think of the Kenny Rogers song "Coward of the County" but he would floor him if he said anything to him. There is bad feeling in the Family at the moment as my other Sister died 3 years ago to ovarian cancer and her Husband has remarried. My Sister said he had forgotten our Sister and I begged her to go to the Wedding. She said she would not go and has now turned my late Sister's girls against me for some unknown reason. I nearly told my Sister what her Husband had done to me but just left it by saying that I could have had him kicked out of the Army and she said "why" and I told her to forget it and she put the phone down on me and I havent spoken to her since July.

Thank you all for being so supportive as you think that you are the only person in the world that this has happened to. I have been writing down notes for when I see the Consultant so I don't forget things but how could I forget any of the abuse.

[Mysteryreader]

What a brave woman to bring this out in the open. I hope your app goes well.

[butterflykiss]

Mothers can be so destroying of a child's confidence and even when they become adults also. I am so sorry to hear about your sister passing. Cancer is such a horrible illness to have and the fact that you lost a baby also is so very hard to try and understand why me. Yes my mother said the same thing when i was expecting my 1st child, that she was to young to be a grandmother and she also called me a murderer when my son died in the house fire. So i can relate when it comes to mothers with you. Your sister must realise that there is something going on if you and your husband are not as friendly as maybe you used to be..Are you sure she doesn't no something but maybe in reverse..She seems to be willing to try and cut you out from the family and turn others against you..Just an outsider looking in but she is acting like she has a real dislike for you right now..You husband is being stronger than you think..Far from a Coward in fact what he is doing is putting you 1st by NOT doing anything.This might sound silly but if you think about it and you wanted your husband to deck him, then the hole story would be out before you have had time to deal with it yourself and that would be so much harder for you as people can be very hurtful and before you no it, there would be a really horrible,disgusting and hurtful story going round. Your husband is there and he is doing what is best for you, if he was selfish and thought nothing of you he would have done that what you wish he would. Your better leaving them all out of your mind and think of yourself 1st. Giving them time is taking your time from you and honest they are not worth it. I totally understand how angry and frustrated you are right now but i can tell you that once you start counselling with some one you trust, those ugly people will fade. The only thing to remember is that you take your time to get it all out.As i said there is no time limit to how long it will last and yes you never forget the abuse but there is a way to live you life as some one who can go on to help some one else and that will be your biggest gift of all..

Stand tall and Proud

Butterflykiss xx

[Sundayschild10]

I am sorry to hear of your loss, nothing is so awful as losing a child. I went on to have 13 miscarriages and then on my 3rd marriage had our Daughter. I went for my appointment and my Consultant was amazed that I had kept this all to myself and wants me to see someone who deals in rape and sexual abuse. I have heard that Brother-in-law will be in our Town tomorrow for the rugby match but my Husband is not going. The only relative I speak to is my late Sister's Husband who was the one who remarried and caused all this upset although he really isn't my Brother-in-law now he has remarried. My computer crashed the other day so I am trying to catch up with everything. I was 18 and married when I lost my baby Son and my Mother objected to what I called him. I was brought up to be a Lady as my Father was an Officer in the Armed Forces but I have my own opinions very different from my Mothers. Have a good weekend xxx