anyone else wonders if anxiety or related disorder 'passes down'?

Me and the OH have been called into school tomorrow after our dd had an outburst in school where she was really worried that some people were coming to kill her...she is 6 - of course I'm blaming myself with anxirty and the OH is blaming himself cause his mum has had issues on/off...lots of guilt here :(


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14 Replies

  • Hi, I wonder about this all the time, read in the paper that if your depressed when pregnant then your child is more likely to become depressed when they're older, well I don't think I was in fact I remember feeling very happy when I was expecting my youngest, but still think I must be to blame in some way the guilt we feel is awful, wish I knew the answer to this !

    Mimii xx

  • I know the answer is not definite either day maybe

  • What I have read is that it can be a learnt behaviour but I have explained to my kids that for me anyway this is not a good thing to have and learn from me how anxiety is a bloody awful thing to have to deal with and how they should learn from my mistakes

  • I hope this helps as I feel it's my feelings therefore my fault for getting herein the first place this is me by the way

  • Hugs to you x

  • thank you...yep we both still feeling guilty, she has been referred cos it was extreme and unusual - I spent most of Friday researching...think what happening is she may have attentive adhd and the frustration led to an anxious outburst

  • My dad has issues with health anxiety a little bit but I only found this out after I started getting my issues, so maybe it's genetics? I certainly didn't learn this from him as I never knew he worried.


  • I too found out my mum had anxiety issues after I started...couldn't have been influenced by her cos she ran off when I was 8...interestingly I recently found her real family 2 years ago and there was numerous issues within the family of agoraphobia and alcoholism...

  • Anxiety disorders and depression can also be a chemical imbalance in the brain, which can be passed down through the family, also environmental factors play a big part so if your child sees you anxious they pick up from this x

  • hate all those 'could be' s...she knows what I'm most afraid of and shows no anxiety of that - in fact she finds it funny (thanks for the support girl...) ;)

  • Both my parents have mental health issues and both have been hospitalized for them . I don't know whether it is herediatory but l try aqnd be as positive as I can with my son and have taught him coping dtrategies over the years. I have always been honest about how I feel about my mum and dad. I'm not sure though that worrying about this helps although I know it is natural. We do our best as parents. I think the thing now is to concentrate on our daughter and how she can be helped. Is this the first time this has happened and what suggestions do school have? In my experience they are not always very helpful on this but what do you think would help your daughter? As a family we went to CHAMhs with my son although he was 14 and we found it brilliant.

  • yep it was bad and they referred us to camhs...may take a while tho...although after a bit of research I feel better as the anxiety could be a result of attentive adhd - so it may be a good thing because attentive adhd usually goes unnoticed until exams even though the symptoms are there before 7...

  • what have school said they will do as they need to meet the needs of the individual? Have you discussed what they will do if it or something similar happens again? How are they going to insure your child is safe? Be careful of the ADHD route as in my opinion it can be a bit of a cop out. when you go to CHAMAS ask to discuus behaviour strategies that will work for your child both at home and at school and possible triggers for the behavious.. I do speak from experience as my son has dyspraxia and both schools were pretty useless until he started cutting and he was refered to cHAMAS. He still had to have regular meetings with the head of year due to his absence. We went weekly for about 7 months The worker there was brilliant and very flexible. Appointments at 8am as we both worked and my partner goes on public transport . But of course it is luck of the draw as in all professions there is good and bad. Also as my son was 14 qnd very articulate a lot o f the discussion at CHAMHS was just with him and we sat in the waiting room and drank lots of tea. However there were times when we worked as a family. My suggestion is to be all as honest as you possibly can and don't commit to anything you don't intend to carry out. This is very hard but creates the most positive solution.

  • Yes, we have found chromosomal markers designated to different mental illnesses. It is absolutely genetic. Of course, when we make a new person, that person only gets some of each parent's genes, so a mom having a gene doesn't guarantee a child getting that gene, it only makes it a possibility.

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