So im happier tonight enjoyed the evening with the partner and my babyyy, gosh I missed him at school today, big hugs were needed. Had a nice take away,, as couldn't be bothered to cook, and enjoyed a couple of movies, really needed a good family time. Not done good with eating but made it up by scoffing a take away
Talked to the mr, problems and frustrations had been brewing for awhile and after a long talk I feel level with it all again, much happier and calmer Things seem nicer then ever, more respect and communication, hopefully stay like this now.
I made it out im very very happy with this,, I was so scared to leave again, walking down to the main road scared me, so the mr said come get the bin with me and go back, well when we got out the door I didn't wanna move, il stay in the front garden you get the bin, il get used to being out here for a bit first. Noooooo he locked the bloody door, panic started and I thought right, quicker I go get the bin the quicker il be back inside lol! well walked to the main road and WOLLA he brought the bin in that morning -.- (but hey you've made it you at the end of the drive) it was true I had done it and for some reason I kept bloody walking lol! then next door but one waved at us and I panicked ahh I cant go back she just seen us leaving lol so kept walking. I managed to walk another 5 mins down the road near to the park and I thought right im gonna walk back. on the way back I felt really panicky all of a sudden, probably knowing I was quite a bit from home then normal. but breathed and carried on walking not running, when we got to the path to our house I hovered around for a bit letting the pooch sniff and chase butterflies lol so I did eventually feel calmer outside.
Got to keep it going now and hopefully start feeling more myself