Hi all, I,m a regular ranter on here, and you all take time to notice so today I'm asking How r u all? Rant away i'm listening x

Please feel free to rant and whine, i don't know all the answers but sometimes things just feel better when you offload x How is today up to now? Are we all busy ? Are we feeling if only slightly better or just as bad if not worse ? I'm trying to get perspective from all angles on everyday life for a anxiety sufferer x Donver x

[Hidden]

Hi Donver

Well , still struggling with the sinus problem , which my head has told me every negative you could think of , so feeling tired

Cant believe , I am cooking a Roast dinner & its flipping hot here

Got ironing to do as well

Think I am a bit grumpy to be honest , wish I could shut my brain of for a while

Is this a little moan or a big one , i am sure I could add more on this post as the day goes on , no doubt I will find something . I do get told I am the worse moaner there is

Other than that I am fine

love

whywhy

xxx

[Hidden]

Hi Whywhy, Oh i feel your pain with the sinuses, its awful the sensation when they are blocked. I actually got myself hooked on Vicks sinus spray last year, yikes, was convinced I needed it, but felt so much better when I stopped doing it. Its more a pain when we convince ourselves its due to a wider bigger problem, that we know doesn't exist to anyone but ourselves. I think the tiredness is mainly our overactive brains which never shut off wearing us out without us noticing, or so I like to think MM Roast dinner my fave, I'm in the north and whilst its warm its bearable, saying that i cheated and ordered my dinner in from local shop lol. Learnt me a lesson as it wasn't very nice. My advice for the ironing would be unless there is a specific reason sod it lol x It isn't going anywhere. Any day is allowed to be a grumpy day when you have anxiety, I personally think you have been one of the ones who has given me some bloody good advice and put my mind at rest on lots of issues, so your allowed a day off x And remember its never moaning its constructive criticism lol x Overall glad you are plodding on x And compared to me some days thats minor lol xx Donver

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Have to admit , my GP , hands over meds like sweeties , so I always reach for the antibiotics & this time , I have decided to fight it on my own as I dont think taking so many is helping me

Oh I so wish I could say sod it to the ironing , but my anxiety comes with OCD , & thats just not possible , but maybe one day

xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi x your gp sounds like most peoples ideal doctor lol x I think if we take antibiotics all the time we become reliant to them to solve the problems like the colds and bugs, but fighting it on your own will just strengthen your immune system and prove that you can do it alone, and then when it rears again its less of a problem. Both for that reason and for anxiety. Maybe not sod the ironing then lol, one day my ocd is different i just like order and things straight or in groups of 3. I hate ironing so any excuse there lol x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Well , they que up for her on a Tuesday , I am so glad I have a little common sense because seriously , if I took everything she has ever give me , I wouldnt be here !

Thats what I am hoping for though , if I can get through this my immune system might get stronger , I could have been helping to weaken it , so every day even though I have been tempted I have said , no I will get through another day without

Oh my OCD , is one of my main problems with my anxiety , I have it in nearly every form as well to some degree , one of the main ones is with cleaning & washing & ironing , even though I do get it in other ways , they will eventually help me , even though I have been like it so many years now , they have already said its become a part of me , but if they can just chip a little away I will be happy

xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

My problem is I take nothing i'm given as Im worried about them x A few year back I would try anything to fix me but after having kids Im a paranoid wreck lol. I do think anxiety itself is a big cause of weaker immune system as we are always causing huge stress to ourselves which is a known factor for weaker immune, was told that by my sister whos a pharmacist lol and may i add a hypochondriac. Good luck with your chipping at your ocd, you really never know one day it may change xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Same here , I am to afraid to take anything as well

That made me laugh , your sister is a pharmacist & a hypochondriac , what a combination

xxx

[Hidden]

Still got pain in legs and muscle twitching. Grand kids all weekend. Chiro says its one thing GP something else's and physio something different. I am thinking of asking a witch doctor next. I'd prefer them to admit that they don't know

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Oh dear Holly, I'm sorry to hear your suffering. I suffer a bit from restless aching legs but I was told it was my anxiety, due to increased blood flow when i panic. Then when the blood flow returns to normal your muscles twitch to return to normal function. Leg pain can be caused by a number of things from standing to long to being overactive, and if you have been looking after grandkids all weekend i'm not surprised they are aching I think your right though, if someone doesn't know its better to be honest and say i don't know. I think id be scared to ask a witch doctor they may curse me knowing my luck lol x hope it gets better for you soon x

[knowles8586]

the weekend has been good. Been to work, shopping and out for lunch today

[Hidden in reply to knowles8586]

Hi knowles, so glad to hear you have had a good weekend And slightly envious at the shopping part lol x been a while since i've been myself. its so nice getting out and about and being so positive about it xx Keep it up x Donver

[Hidden]

Hi donver,

All started good for me well sort of. I always wake up with a tight jaw think I grind my teeth at night. But I thought not going any where today so stayed in my pj's all day today. Right I thought off upstairs for a bit of pampering, so facepack and paint nails etc, all good except my thoughts keep racing away from me, about what? everything from what to have for tea tonight to where will I live in the future ( living at my mums at mo ) looking for a job etc etc. My shoulders ache from tension. Can't remember when I last had not so much a happy day as calm day when I can enjoy being alive with out worrying all the time.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi gardenertwo, Sounds like your day has been slightly rollercoaster..ish. But on a positive note it started good and that is always a start. I would imagine that a tight jaw may well be a sign of teeth grinding, maybe your thinking of all the daily turmoil when you go to bed. Keep a diary and last thing at night write in it and get it all of your chest. Pampering is always a good thing, and we all need a excuse to just chill in our pjs x Sounds like you had some lovely girly time. Maybe next time you could listen to music or ask your mum if she fancies a pamper session and then it may not give you time to let your thoughts race. I would,t worry to much about future things, the right place to live will come along soon, and you have just got settled at your mums so take time out to readjust. As with jobs, if your not ready yet to approach a job chill for a week or so and think it over. I think when we have a happy day we have a slightly calmer day and vice versa, maybe meet up with friends more and do the things like you mentioned, or pop out for walks n coffee and it will give you new focus rather than worrying xx Hope the evening pans out better

[Hidden]

Hi donver at least a witch doctor might be cheaper than the chiropractor and physio

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It may well be Holly lol x

[coetzeegisela]

So one may rant without being de-portalised? Disenfranchisement from this good community would be a chilly terrain.

[Hidden in reply to coetzeegisela]

Hi Coetzeegisela, erm not sure on a answer for this one lol, for one i'm not a member of mensa and things normally need to be broken into laymans terms for me. (big words are off putting for me ) One has the right to rant wherever and whenever they want, i am merely putting something back into the group i take from it on a regular basis. I often come on and rant and moan and whinge and I have the right as much as everyone else, we all choose to join the group to watch listen whatever. It is a good community the best one I have found for anxiety. And no without it I would indeed be facing very chilly terrain. But as I have taken I woke with the thought today I will give something back and see if I can help someone by merely listening or helping if I can. If no one wants to answer that is there right. x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I can assure you I am not trying to run this group or form my own group, i was merely trying to be a good deeder for the day, and tomorrow I will probably go back to the whinging. If I have caused offence I do apologize as I am not a leader never have been I was trying to be nice and nothing more x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Dont worry donver , I am glad you started the subject , I think you can see from the replies people are grateful for the post

I am not good at posting about me as such , so it gave me a chance to say how I felt , keep going hun & thanks

xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

A week ago if i had read a bad reply I think i would of cried and given up, and in some ways it crept in and i thought what am i doing. But im not trying to be better than anyone, or take control, I am learning to listen to others and not make life all about me, we all suffer together and i wanted to express my thanks by merely being nice x ty whywhy x Im not giving in, to give in means i have been walked over again, and i will take my place and stand proud xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Exactly donver , I am glad when I see people giving back , we need it

Hey I would come looking for you if you went missing

xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

ty again lol x i wouldn't go far.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

xxx

[looking-glass34]

Hi donver, thanks for the opportunity to rant without guilt!

My younger brother has started having panic attcks, im gutted, he s the special one, the normal one and i really dont want him suffering like me and my sister do. He rang me for help on thursday, i dropped everything and broke my plans and routine which was nt easy for me to do. i ve spent all weekend looking after him cause he said thats what he wanted. Im a stressy peron, i know this and i ve done my best carefree acting turn. He asked what the cause of my anxiety is, i told him its a deep rooted belief that people dont like me, that im annoying to them and they re only spending time with me because they feel obliged to. An hour later what do i get...i dont want to be around you at the moment, your making me feel sad and uncomfortable. Im devastated, i dont know what i ve done wrong. Hes asked my sister to stay with him instead...apparently shes just better at this than me. Slap in the face eh!

looking glass xxx

[Hidden in reply to looking-glass34]

Hi Looking-glass, your very welcome, I like a good rant and there is never no need to feel guilty about it. It helps us offload and even if we feel better for 5 mins it means its helped. I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, and i can fully understand that you are upset as you know the extent of his suffering. Anxiety is hard enough for us t cope with but its harder still to see those we love lose there confidence and change. Can I say well done to you for breaking your routine though you have proved that you have inner strength. Sometimes people in there downfall say the most hurtful things and often they are not meant. He asked the question and maybe he did not like the answer, maybe he felt guilty as he interrupted it as you felt obligated to spend the time with him. He maybe thought he was heaping more pressure on you and in caring he backed off as to not put you down when in actual fact he caused you to believe your belief. Its a vicious circle anxiety , and i can totally see where you're coming from feeling slapped in the face. Its when we try our best that we feel the fall hardest. Let him know you are there when ever he needs you and it is not a obligation as you are family . And for you I say I sympathise as i to share your beliefs. But I'm learning to accept that some people in life just don't like others, and some people will always put others down to get there kicks. You are not annoying and if there ever was a person who thought that they would,nt be worth your time xxx Hope all is better soon xxx Donver

[looking-glass34 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for putting it into perspective, i had nt thought of it like that, i straight away get a dirty great stick and start beating myself up with it! xxx

[Hidden in reply to looking-glass34]

your very welcome glad i could help x I find we beat ourselves up often enough with daily life never mind taking on board more punishment xx

[mimii]

Hi, was watching ET in the kitchen while cooking the dinner, the ending still makes me cry !!

Been feeling bit rough today, now have that Sunday night feeling still, New series of downtown Abbey starts later, going to watch that

Mimii x

[Hidden in reply to mimii]

mimii , I watched the end of it to & same here

I am taping surprise surprise , so that will get me going again , I just sit with the tissues next to me for that one & me to looking forward to Downton Abbey , even though after the end last time , that no doubt is going to be a sad start , might not waste the tissues & just get a toilet roll will go furthur & cheaper

xxx

[mimii in reply to Hidden]

I've got loads of tissues, bit of a joke in our family, always have pockets full and handbag full, there's tissues under my pillow, down the side of the sofa, but they do come in handy , think I have a bit of a problem with it though cant go out without any !!

Yes it will be bit sad, really enjoyed last series

Mimii xx

[Hidden in reply to mimii]

Hi mimii, I watched et and it still gets me although not as much as surprise surprise is making me blub right now x Sorry to hear your feeling rough, still tomorrow is a new day, and its always tomorrow somewhere else x Enjoy Downtown x Donver x x

[mimii in reply to Hidden]

Thanks donver, glad its not just me !!

One of the saddest films Ive ever seen was called AI (artificial intelligence) the whole family was crying, dont want to see that one again !!

Mimii xx

[Hidden in reply to mimii]

Oh not just you at all lol i'm a emotional wreck at some films,I did watch ai, can only remember one real tear jerker moment for me x but if i put the notebook on i start from the moment they meet till the end x Wow it always gets me x Donver

[mimii in reply to Hidden]

It's that bit at the end when he gets to spend just one perfect day with his mum, cant bear it !!

Mimii xx

[wallflower_fairy]

More than happy to contribute to this for the moment. Things have been very up and down within these past few months or so although was just starting to go well for me. I arrived to uni and - although I was pretty freaked out on the first night, survived fresher's week, made some new friends, and was feeling pretty happy.

However, after going home for the weekend things starting to go down hill for me. I was totally exhausted after not getting much sleep - due to the noise - and started to feel rough on the morning my dad came to pack me up for the weekend (to pick up some extra bits and catch up on sleep in my own bed). I then realised one of the reason's I was feeling particularly rough was because I was developing a bad cold, which is just starting to take over today. And a few things have 'shaken me up' if you will, in terms of organisation. One, when I went for an afternoon nap back home I had the feeling I had forgotten something so I didn't sleep so well: I hadn't finished selecting my modules for my course. The deadline was yesterday. It also means I'm not doing the same one as my friend, which makes me more vulnerable as I will have to attend lectures alone and have a very poor sense of direction (registered as part of my disability). A cold is particularly an issue for me because of my other medical condition which causes me to have a bit more pain sometimes - things like bending up and down is usually fine (although better to be avoided), however, when I have a cold it was an issue, so when I went back to my halls earlier today I had to rely more so on my dad to help me, which he was irritable about because he also has a cold, and he forgot to bring his glasses which made everything harder. Two.) As I looked in my wash bag I realised I didn't have my buff puff, my body wash, or my shampoo, I'd forgotten to repack them when I took them home. And whatever I had gone without in the first week, I cannot survive without my shampoo or body wash. I have to be clean.

Anyway, I've asked my sister to come on Skype so I can ask mum if they're still in my bathroom (it makes me feel better to know where they are and visualise them), and see if they can be dropped off, I'm not sure there's anywhere appropriate I'll be able to buy anything. As I'm a student funds are tight so I can't afford for this to keep happening.

So it's not the best start to a week of lectures, and I'm sat here feeling incredibly frustrated and on edge - and very poorly because of my cold. The fact that I could have made such classic errors is enough to knock my confidence and makes me wonder whether I really have the organisation skills or the abilities necessary to survive at university.

[Hidden in reply to wallflower_fairy]

hi funkyfairy (brill name by way), wow what a week you have had. BUt well done for even getting to college never mind surviving and being willing to go back Its always nice to have new friends as they broaden our experiences of the world. And im sure many more will come your way. I've never been to college but i can imagine someone with anxiety finding the strength to stand out in the world and leave behind the family to find there way on there own, is someone who is going to go far. I think we can all over do it at times and it causes these things like colds to come along and zap our energy when we need it the most, more so when you have a disability. But one thing stands out more than anything for me in all you said, these things you say have gone wrong have not stopped you. You have coped with them and readjusted yourself and carried on. Thats determination for you. I think in this alone you answer your own questions of whether you can cope. You have the skills as you have proven. I can understand you are frustrated that you have forgotten things but are we all not slightly disorganised at something new, it will soon become a routine. Im sure your family will understand and help you get your items, and as for being alone in your course you will soon be surrounded by all new friends who may even come in useful for next time you have a moment you forget x Good luck in college x x

[wallflower_fairy]

I'm also worried about my friend who I haven't been able to get hold of for 2 weeks.

[Hidden in reply to wallflower_fairy]

I'm sure your friend will be in touch soon. She is maybe giving you space to readjust and make new friends. If not a quick text just to say hi, can you text back to just say hi

[looking-glass34]

just seen the conversation about weepy films. avoid disneys my dog skip at all costs! its the time old tale of lonely boy whos parents get him a dog, dog and boy bond etc etc, with the sick twist at the end of child grows up and goes to college, dog pines away and dies of a broken heart. i was hysterical, you know the sort of crying where your doing the pig snorting thing to get your breath! xxx

[Hidden in reply to looking-glass34]

Wow sounds heart rendering, think i may have to avoid. I cried at the incredible journey, and fly away home. basically anything to do with death that is brought on in romantic fashion or illness and im gone. As for the pig snort i do that laughing, and crying, i remember the first time i watched the notebook and they went together at the end oh my if my heart could of snapped in 2 it was then that it would. I sobbed for hours think I cried myself to sleep. Another is A little bit of heaven xx doesn't help i have them all recorded to my sky box :/ xxx lol xxx

[looking-glass34 in reply to Hidden]

Oh the notebooks a killer, my sister watched it at a girly night with her friends...she had to come home she was so upset! xxx

[hairyfairy]

My stupid washer -dryer has been broken since April, & Iv`e called several repair companies, & they all charge over &100 just to look it over. I don`t have that kind of money right now, so I`m back to washing by hand & drying clothes on radiators. they take ages to dry, & often they have a nasty mildewy smell, which I really hate. Iv`e seen some second hand washing machines in the british heart foundation sop in Walthamstow for only £60, & I`m thinking of getting one because theyr`e guaranteed for 9 months, almost as long as my new machine lasted before it broke! What is it with modern appliances? they never seem to last 5 minutes before they break down.

[Hidden in reply to hairyfairy]

Oh hairyfairy

This sounds like my worse nightmare here

Well no they dont make them like they used to

I have had these repair men out before & yes they do charge that & then maybe quote something more than a new washer to fix it

I would if you are going to get a 9 month guarantee go for that washer : £60

sounds like a good deal to me

Let us no how you go on

Love

whywhy

xxx

[Hidden in reply to hairyfairy]

oh dear hairyfairy x its ever good when our goods give up on us, more so when its so bloody expensive to repair or replace. I know what you mean about the smell clothes can gather when they take that long to dry, and its even worse now as autumn is upon us. I agree with whywhy, if you can get a washer for £60 go for it if its guaranteed you have peace of mind you never know maybe you can come across another washer/dryer. I think in this modern world nothing is made to last as we update out items that much. xx

[hairyfairy]

I just wish that manufacturers would take into account the fact that many people can`t afford to keep replacing or repairing appliances when they break down. They should try to make more robust machines at an affordable price.

[Hidden in reply to hairyfairy]

I totally agree hairyfairy x when i had to replace my washer a year back i found one for 150 in argos and cried at that x never get these people who pay for the latest top brand model in anything it all goes the same way x Sadly the cost of living is just to much without the worry of all these damn appliances x