Anyone reading "a life at last "

Hi all this is basically a post in reply to HERITAGE when i happened to mention a book i had started to read called "a life at last". I am writing it as a post so if anyone else had read and maybe benefitted we can compare? I am only on page 18 so not really to far into it yet, but i can already see some valid points made. No one knows if reading a book about another persons anxiety will cure us or make us worse but I'm finding that the more i know about anxiety the better positioned i am to fight it. His most valid point so far is that we will never get better until we stop trying which is funny because all the therapists i have seen have told me to accept and not fight. Anyway thoughts if any? And to you heritage I have no doubt that one day will will all be better to some degree, even if it is enough for us to have a semi decent life, some life is better than none x Donver x


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10 Replies

  • Hi Donver,

    My counsellor said that to me," stop fighting your anxiety and accept it" I did think you want to be in my head mr you would be fighting it all the way.

    I am always looking for new ways to help myself so will be intrested when you have read the book to see other ways there are.

    All I want is to wake up feeling some sort of normal not dread for the day ahead.

  • Hi gardenertwo, I do try to accept but sadly there are times when you are caught off guard and just let it fly i dont think its ever going to get easy but then i have been keeping a journal of my every day fears and how i have been, and i can see a difference. I think as humans when scared you naturally fight and its hard to change these thinking patterns, but sometimes they change and you don't realise so much. I have now read a few chapters and its pretty much basic info about how he came about having anxiety. I am a sod for writing lots of notes about what i read and breaking it down into my point of view, and so far i can see we agree on some things me and this author. Will keep you updated xx Donver

  • Yes, yes, yes!

    The re-occuring theme that I found in many places while seeking knowledge/guidance/help with my anxiety was the concept of "Accept it, acknowledge it is there and live with it for now, don't fight it".

    I read it on line in this group and on other Anxiety info sites, my counsellor said it to me, and I read it in the book by Claire Weekes "Self help for your nerves".

    But that's so difficult to do, isn't it? With other sorts of problems and illnesses we're encouraged by friends and family to stand up to it, fight against it, try to overcome it, but this Anxiety thing seems to require a completely reversed outlook.

    I likened Anxiety to a nasty playground bully - It wants to upset you, tries to get your attention all the time, tweaks at you, whispers sneaky little remarks in your head to try and wind you up. You have to try and say, "Yes, you're there, next to me. I know you're there but I'm going to try and ignore you as much as I can. I'm going to prepare my food/go for a walk/phone my friend - Just go away."

  • Hi Blorengia, it does indeed seem to have a lot of recurring messages in this book, and the main one being accept, I have only got half way through and i can see now that this is going to be the main point of the rest of the book. He says to be cured of anxiety you need to understand, but i have studied nothing but anxiety for the last year undergoing modules and core beliefs etc and to be honest no matter how much i try to tell myself i can live with anxiety we can be friends and i can accept this , it is easier said than done, saying that it can be done as my mam recovered from anxiety after suffering for 9 years. I to read the self help book and found that one a great help all barr the floating like a cloud past your probs as i could never really work this one out lol. I really have found that if you had the encouragement like you do with other illnesses then maybe we could get past this more easily. Sadly people seem to think that a lot of it is you being stubborn and making things up they don't realise its imprinted on your mind and you are ill. Its times like this when great friends are needed and sadly mine have all took off. Hopefully we will all find a way soon xx Donver

  • I was actually thinking of ordering this book I found it ,while Iwas browsing anxiety no more site,Paul David wrote it I believe,he had a lot to say about anxiety,and sounded like he could be helpful,please let me know if its worth Miarose xxx

  • hi mia x I suppose it totally depends on how much you have exhausted your avenues on getting help for anxiety, this man obviously knows what he is talking about and i have no doubts that he suffered badly from anxiety, and from what i have read of the book he puts this across in a clear and precise way. Its all focused on living with anxiety and learning not to fight against it, accepting that every single little symptom that goes through your body is part of the bigger symptom which is anxiety, and nothing else, A lot of it its the same as what therapists will tell you or maybe what you read on anxiety websites. But i bought it as i figured I have nothing to lose and tbh reading it I am slightly more determined thinking if its this easy why am i wasting my life worrying about things that may never happen. I'm not going to say don't buy it as its up to each of us what path we choose and what help we accept. It may help you x Donver x

  • I actually downloaded this book a few days ago as I'm going through a particularly bad bout of anxiety and depression. I agree with a lot of what he says and I've read an awful lot of self-help books over the years. It's not someone whos trying to make money out of the condition. It's just it's so hard to accept the anxiety and carry on with your day. I very rarely give in to it but its there all the time and I'm always comparing myself to people who don't have depression and anxiety which obviously makes me feel worse. I've booked myself on a mindfulness course at the end of the month and hope this will alleviate some of my symptoms.

  • Hi compassionate, as i have found with the book it covers old ground in some ways but to me its a more understanding way of putting things across, i tend to make a lot of notes from the book and tell myself if he can do it we can all do it, but i get the feeling this man may of had more stamina than me lol x In not sure what a Mindfulness course is but hope it goes well for you x Donver

  • I agree with your thoughts. We must be so strong to deal with these feelings day to day. Mindfulness is a form of meditation and thinking in the present moment, not thinking about the future or the past. It's been promoted by Ruby Wax who herself has found it beneficial and the NHS are looking into it. I did a workshop earlier this year and there were two nhs psychologists there.

  • That sounds interesting Compassionate, I may have to keep that one in mind for future reference. I keep getting told to do yoga as a way to calm myself and get into a peaceful mind and state, but as a larger lady I find this sommet what impossible x it leaves me in more physical pain than i was before i started lol x x

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