Here we are again, back to square one. I've been dreading this moment since the last one a few months ago, I knew it would come back to haunt me and torment me again, and here it is.
I feel extremely agitated, angry, frustrated, upset, confused, lethargic, dehydrated, sick, dizzy, not to mention HOT! I've been taking the codeine more recently, without even meaning to. I've just given up and couldn't care less what it does. MH professionals are a load of crap (to me), messing us (me and my family) around 24/7, there's no point in paying their wages either, they just sit on their bums.
I am being called 'lazy' by family, I'm not lazy, I am simply too weak and lethargic to stand for longer than 2 minutes, I'm sorry if that's not a good enough reason to lay in bed 24/7! I lay in bed and just think, trying to force myself to sleep, so I can run away from reality and stop thinking, just for a few minutes would be fab. I can feel my brain twisting, it doesn't feel hydrated, it feels like it's made out of sand and grinding together. I have pain lower in my abdomen, I always get this when I'm dehydrated, I think it's my kidneys screaming at me. I've drank loads of water, but that's done nothing, I still feel dehydrated. I feel really sick and shaky, I haven't eaten for 4 days, what's the point.
So I'm just going to lay in bed with my headphones, listen to music, and just wait until the next mood swing kicks in. Maybe the next mood might be a nicer muffinchops, that normally happens. I just don't feel that 'umph' any more, I want to kick everyone in the teeth and tell them what I think, but I'm too considerate for that!
And just to emphasize how rubbish I feel, a wasp just flew in to my bedroom, I have a huge phobia of them. I would normally be pinned against the corner of the bedroom with fly spray in one hand and a frying pan in the other, wrapped in my duvet so I can hide from it haha. I don't even see the point in catching it. -,-
Terribly sorry if this 'offends' anyone, but this site asks for experiences, and this is what I'm experiencing right now, sorry it's not fluffy unicorns and pink rainbows, I wish it was.