(I hope I'm posting this correctly; I've been browsing this site for a while but I just made an account. Also this is going to be super long, I'm sorry!)
Hi! I'm a 24 year old female, and I've lived most of my life with severe anxiety and hypochondria due to a traumatic childhood experience. Over the last year, I've had a recurring kidney infection, which has thrown me into full panic-mode quite a bit, but it's gone now. I'm sure the doctor is sick to death of me, but that's all beside the point.
When I was having some UTI-related anxiety, I was eating some thick soup and noticed I had a bit of trouble swallowing it. Sometimes that happens to me with warm liquids, so I wasn't too concerned, but I somehow choked on it and had to wheezily gasp for breath. It was scary. Ever since then, I think about it every time I eat. It was manageable for a while, but over the last week, it's been awful. It's hard to describe, but it feels as if my throat closes up when I begin to swallow (almost like it's saying 'wait! I'm not ready to swallow yet'), and sometimes that sensation makes me feel like I'm swallowing my tongue or will choke, and I panic. It's so bad, I'm barely able to eat at all, even soft foods are extremely difficult to eat. I can normally manage cereal in the morning, but anything else is iffy at best. I've been drinking Ensure as well, but I'm terrified that I'm going to starve and not be able to do anything about it. I know this is likely caused by anxiety, but I feel powerless and don't know what to do. I started taking Buspar yesterday for this, which was prescribed during my UTI, but I'm scared nothing will help. I feel trapped and I've spent all day shaking and crying. Does anyone else know what I'm talking about, or am I going crazy?